Mackem jokes

brilor

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What's the difference between The Grinch and Mackems?

The Grinch only steals things at Christmas.
 

brilor

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In London they queued up from 2am at Harrods for the boxing day sales, while in Manchester it was reported that the queues forrmed up to 12 hours ahead of the shops opening.
Meanwhile in Mackemland queues were up to a mile long for Poundland!
 

konifur

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"Who's been sleeping in my bed?" shouted daddy bear.
"Who's been sleeping in my bead?" shouted mummy bear?"
"Probably a Mackem, "cried baby bear, "because the cunt has nicked my bike. "
 

brilor

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99% of Mackemlandl actually voted to stay in Europe. "It's great like," said one Mackem, "all these foreigners having our jobs!"
 

brilor

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MACKEMS

If your life is now devoid of meaning now that Jeremy Kyle has been taken off TV you could always spend the time going to the dentist and looking for a job!
 

brilor

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A teacher from Mackemland asked her pupils if they know any collective nouns for groups of animals.

"Please, Miss," says Jenny, "a flock of sheep."

"Well done, Jenny." "Please, Miss," says Tommy, "a herd of cows."

"Well done, Tommy." "Please, Miss," says Mary, "a shoal of fish."

"Well done, Mary." Then wee Jimmy puts his hand up...

"Please, Miss," he says, "what about a dose of crabs?"