Men and Women

squirt

Administrator
Joined
May 5, 2004
Messages
758,196
Likes
17,226
 

konifur

Jokeroo Enthusiast
Joined
Jan 25, 2009
Messages
50,372
Likes
4,500
Womens lonely hearts ads, and what they really mean;

Adventurous = Slag
Athletic = No tits
30 something = 50 odd
Fun = Annoying
Wild = Gets pissed easily
Beautiful eyes = Face like a robbers dog
Seeks knight in shining armour = Ex is a fucking nutter
New age = Smelly with a hairy chuff
Headstrong = Argumentative
Enjoys pubbing and clubbing = Alcoholic
Curvy = Fat cunt
Cuddly = Fat cunt
Likes eating out = Greedy fat cunt
Likes nights in = Lazy fat cunt.
 

konifur

Jokeroo Enthusiast
Joined
Jan 25, 2009
Messages
50,372
Likes
4,500
I was looking at his wife: no teeth in, tits on her belly, hair a mess and smoking a roll up. Then she cocked her leg and let out a massive fart.

"You are a mess and I'm disgusted with you," I said.

"I'm still the woman you love and married," she said. "Sometimes we all let ourselves go a bit."

" But we're on our fucking honeymoon!" I replied.
 

roadkill

Jokeroo Enthusiast
Joined
Dec 27, 2005
Messages
22,646
Likes
2,846
i put on a suit for the first time in 20 years
my daughter notices me in a suit and says to me that the suit looks great on me
i told her it is the suit i wore when i divorced her mother
but unlike what her mother did to me... i take the suit to the cleaners