I was looking at my wife: no teeth in, tits on her belly, hair a mess and smoking a roll up. Then she cocked her leg and let out a massive fart. "You are a mess and I'm disgusted with you," I said. "I'm still the woman you love and married," she said. "Sometimes we all let ourselves go a bit." "We're on our fucking honeymoon," I replied!
A bank robber walks up to one of his hostages and asks, "Did you see my face?"The hostage replies, "Yes."The robber takes aim and shoots the man in the head.He turns to the next man.
"And did you see my face?"
"No, but my wife did !!