Racist jokes

brilor

Jokeroo Legend
Joined
Mar 26, 2004
Messages
180,758
Likes
2,541
#1
C'mon lets have all your racist jokes. Let no nationality be spared! It's only a bit of fun!

I'll start. (these have a scottish accent by the way!)

What do you call a Pakistani popstar?

Akani Singh.


What do you call a Pakistani that has just ran a marathon?

Mafeet Arsair.



What do you call a Pakistani porn star?

Ramit Baldeep!
:cheshirecat:
 
Joined
Jun 4, 2004
Messages
11,405
Likes
331
#4
If Santa Claus, a smart Aussie and a dumb blonde were in a room, and you tossed in a hundred dollar note, who would grab it first ?
The blonde - the other two don't exist.
 

MrsCountry

Senior Member
Joined
Mar 30, 2009
Messages
4,063
Likes
50
#7
I just wanna know Brilor - do you really have these bar stools??? Inquiring minds want to know!!!
~big hugs and kisses~


 

stevent222

Jokeroo Immortal
Joined
Apr 3, 2006
Messages
247,178
Likes
2,430
#8
1. What's the difference between Aussies and pigs ?

Pigs don't turn into Aussies when they drink.

2. What's the difference between an Australian and a computer ?

You only have to punch information into a computer once.


3. Why do birds fly upside down over Australian ?

It's not worth shitting on.


4. Why was the Christ Child not born in Australia ?

You'd have a job finding three wise men, much less a virgin !!!!


5. What do you call a field full of Australians ?

A vacant lot.

6. Parachutes

An Englishman, an Irishman, an Australian and a New Zealander were onboard a plane, getting ready to make their first parachute jump. The Englishman's exit was spectacular; he leapt out of the plane with the cry, " I am doing this for my country......" The Irishman leapt out immediately afterwards, calling out the same words. Then the New Zealanders ripped the parachute off the Australian, pushed him out of the plane and cried, "I am doing this for my country......"

7. Gandhi

Most Australians aren't too good at history. For example, they think Gandhi's first name was Goosey Goosey.

8. How do you define 144 Australians ?

Gross stupidity.


9. Height and Position

The Aussie pilot, when asked for his height and position, replied, "I'm 5"11' and sitting in the front seat."

10. What do you call an Aussie who scores well in an IQ test ?

A cheat.

11. An Aussie is proof that God has a sense humour.

12. What do you call an Aussie with half a brain ?

Gifted.

13. The hundred dollar note

If Santa Claus, a smart Aussie and a dumb blonde were in a room, and you tossed in a hundred dollar note, who would grab it first ? The blonde - the other two don't exist.

14. How many Aussies does it take to make chocolate chip cookies ?

Ten. One to make the butter, and nine to peel the M&Ms.

15. What should you do if an Aussie throws a grenade at you ?

Pull the pin and throw it back.

16. Did you hear about the Aussie who had a brain transplant ?

The brain rejected him a week later.

17. What's the difference between yoghurt and Australians ?

At least yoghurt starts with a little culture.

8. Conversion

An Englishman wanted to become an Irishman, so he visited a doctor to find out how to go about this. "Well", said the doctor, "this is a very delicare operation and there is a lot that can go wrong. I will have to remove half your brain." "That's OK", said the Englishman. "I have always wanted to be Irish and I am prepared to take the risk." The operation went ahead but Englishman woke to find a look of horror on the face of the doctor. "I'm so terribly sorry !" the doctor said "Instead of removing half the brain, I have a taken the whole brain out!" The patient replied, "It's all right mate !"

19. What does an Australian girl use for protection during sex ?

A bus shelter.

20. Newsflash !

Paul Keating's library burned down at weekend and two books were destroyed ! The real tragedy was that he hadn't finished colouring in one of them.

21. Japanese Camera

There's a Japanese firm that has developed a camera with a shutter speed so fast it can actually catch an Aussie with his mouth shut.

22. An Australian

An Australian is someone who thinks that the three major political parties in Australia are Labour,

23. IQ

Did you know that New Zealanders who eimigrate to Australia raise the IQ of both countries ?

Would tell some black (nigger) jokes but every time I do Squirt takes them off because of some other problems that I do not care to discuss.
 

brilor

Jokeroo Legend
Joined
Mar 26, 2004
Messages
180,758
Likes
2,541
#9
[QUOTE="MrsCountry, post: 3353574]I just wanna know Brilor - do you really have these bar stools??? Inquiring minds want to know!!!
~big hugs and kisses~


[/QUOTE]

Never seen one!
 

hortysir

Jokeroo Enthusiast
Joined
Jan 24, 2004
Messages
36,030
Likes
295
#10
How do you fit 10 Jews into a Volkswagen?

Throw in a quarter.

How do you get them out?


Throw in a bar of soap.




Who holds the world record for the most people fit into a Volkswagen?
 

squirt

Administrator
Joined
May 5, 2004
Messages
747,188
Likes
7,000
#11
how do you kill a pollock who's been drinking?

you smash his head with the toilet seat ... lol
 

brilor

Jokeroo Legend
Joined
Mar 26, 2004
Messages
180,758
Likes
2,541
#12
What do you call a 20stone, 6ft6ins high muscle bound deaf ni**er?





Anything you like because he cannot hear you!
 

Iceman

Senior Member
Joined
Nov 9, 2003
Messages
19,161
Likes
224
#13
Why don't mexicans have swimming pools?

Because all of them that can swim are over here...
 

brilor

Jokeroo Legend
Joined
Mar 26, 2004
Messages
180,758
Likes
2,541
#14
What kind of coat does a pakistani wear when it is raining?


A Pakamac of course!
 

brilor

Jokeroo Legend
Joined
Mar 26, 2004
Messages
180,758
Likes
2,541
#15
"Hi, Mom. How are you?"

"Hi, Sally. Where are you? I thought you were with your father at the Ace
Hardware?"

"Yes, I was, but I got arrested, and they've let me make one phone call."

"What happened?"

"Oh, I punched this African-American woman in the head."

"What on earth...? Why did you do that?"

"It wasn't my fault! Dad told me to find a Black & Decker."
 

konifur

Jokeroo Enthusiast
Joined
Jan 25, 2009
Messages
49,204
Likes
1,466
#16
I was at my bank today; there was a short line.

Just one lady in front of me - an Asian lady who was
trying to exchange yen for dollars.

It was obvious She was a little irritated. . ...


She asked the teller, 'Why it change? Yesterday, I get
two hunat dolla fo yen.

Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?'


The teller shrugged his shoulders and said,
'Fluctuations.'






The Asian lady says, 'Fluc you white people too!''
 

Bamber

Super Moderator
Joined
Jan 7, 2009
Messages
42,330
Likes
1,466
#17
In the quaint English location of Torytown they have an annual summer fete.

Last year the local hunt raised the most money.

They had a Kenyan chained to a pole and charged £1 to throw masonry at him.

They were very pleased with the money they made from their brick-a-black.
 
Last edited:

likeaneagle

Senior Member
Joined
Jan 21, 2009
Messages
14,249
Likes
304
#18
An Aborigine was driving along the road when suddenly one of his rear
Tyres went flat.
With a sigh and a curse he pulled over, got out the jack and wheel brace
And started undoing the nuts on the wheel.

Just after he started, a Subaru going at high speed pulled over in front
Of his car, brakes squealing.

Out hops a big Maori carrying a softball bat. The Maori proceeds to
smash the side window of the Aborigine's car.


The Aborigine jumps up and starts yelling "what the f**k are you doing
bro!"

The Maori says "cool it man, if you're taking the wheels, don't complain
about me taking the CD Player!"
 
Last edited:

brilor

Jokeroo Legend
Joined
Mar 26, 2004
Messages
180,758
Likes
2,541
#19
This was written by a black gentleman and is so funny. What a great sense of humour
And creativity!!!
When U Black, U Black

When I was born, I was BLACK ,
When I grew up, I was BLACK ,
When I went in the sun, I stayed BLACK,
When I got cold, I was BLACK ,
When I was scared, I was BLACK ,
When I was sick, I was BLACK ,
And when I die, I'll still be BLACK .

NOW, You 'white' folks...

When you're born, you're PINK,
When you grow-up, you're WHITE ,
When you go in the sun, you get RED,
When you're cold, you turn BLUE,
When you're scared, you're YELLOW,
When you get sick, you're GREEN
When you bruise, you turn PURPLE ,
And when you die, you look GREY.
So who y'all be callin'
COLORED Folks?
 

stevent222

Jokeroo Immortal
Joined
Apr 3, 2006
Messages
247,178
Likes
2,430
#20


Parvinder and Habib are panhandlers...
They panhandle in different areas of Toronto.

Habib panhandles just as long as Parvinder ... but only collects 2 to 3 dollars every day.

Parvinder brings home a suitcase FULL of $10 bills, drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage-free house and has a lot of money to spend.

Habib says to Parvinder "I work just as long and hard as you do ... but how do you bring home a suitcase full of $10 bills every day?"

Parvinder says, "Look at your sign, what does it say?"

Habib's sign reads, "I have no work, a wife and 6 kids to support."

Parvinder says "No wonder you only get $2-3 dollars"

Habib says to Parvinder "So what does your sign say?"

Parvinder shows Habib his sign:

It reads, "I only need another $10 to move back to Pakistan."