I was eating my Chinese last night and it made me think! There's thousands of Chinese restaurants and take-a-ways all over this country which means there are loads of Chinese people! But how many Chinese funerals have you seen? I've never seen one! So what are they doing with them? Then looking at my sweet and sour chicken balls, I'm thinking, chickens don't have balls that big!
Three men are sitting in the maternity ward. One is an Englishman, one a Welshman and the other a Jamaican. Suddenly the doctor comes and says, "Gentlemen, your wives have all had little boys! However in the confusion we may have mixed the babies up. Could you come to the nursery to help us identify them?"
The Welshman ran to the nursery, picked up a dark-skinned baby with dreadlocks and said,
"This boy is mine."
The surprised doctor said, "But this child looks Jamaican."
"True," said the Welshman "but there is a fifty fifty chance that one of the others is English, and I'm not taking the risk."
A Chinese secretary got an expensive pen as a gift from her boss. She sent him a 'Thank you note on email'.
Boss's wife read the email and filed a divorce in court The emails says:
"Your penis wonderful. I enjoyed using it last night. It has extra ordinary smooth flow, and a firm stroke.
Initially its tip has to be licked to bring to working order & it is equally good on both sides.
I loved its perfect size and grip.
Felt like I was in heaven when using it.
I've always desired for it and you fulfilled my wish.
At last it is mine and mine for ever.
Thanks a lot"
Moral of story: Space is an essential part in English.
My son asked me today what's the difference between a crow and a blackbird.
I told him crows have somewhat heavier beaks and fan shaped tails.
Whereas a blackbird has big rubbery lips, fuzzy hair and a massive arse.