random Jokes

stevent222

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stevent222

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Two guys grow up together, but after college one moves to Maryland and the other to Texas. They agree to meet every ten years in Vero Beach, Florida, to play golf and catch up with each other.

At age 32 they meet, finish their round of golf and head for lunch.

"Where you wanna go?"

"Hooters."

"Why Hooters?"

"They have those broads with the big racks, the tight shorts and the gorgeous legs."

"You're on."

At age 42, they meet and play golf again.

"Where you wanna go for lunch?"

"Hooters."

"Again? Why?"

"They have cold beer, big screen TVs, and side action on the games."

"OK."

At age 52 they meet and play again. "So where you wanna go for lunch?"

"Hooters.

"Why?"

"The food is pretty good and there's plenty of parking."

"OK."

At age 62 they meet again.

After a round of golf, one says, "Where you wanna go?"

"Hooters."

"Why?"

"Wings are half price and the food isn't too spicy."

"Good choice"

At age 72 they meet again.

Once again, after a round of golf, one says, "Where shall we go for lunch?"

"Hooters."

"Why?"

"They have six handicapped parking spaces right by the door and they have senior discounts."

"Great choice."

At age 82 they meet and play again. "Where should we go for lunch?"

"Hooters."

"Why?"

"Because we've never been there before"

"Okay.
 

TonyColony

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A drunk guy stumbles into a library and makes his way to the reference desk. He steadies himself and tells the librarian, “HEY! I WANT A CHEESEBURGER, SOME FRIES, AND A COKE!”

The librarian looks at him in disgust and says, “Sir, this is a library.”

The drunk replies, “Oh! I’m sorry,” and whispers, “I’ll have a cheeseburger, some fries, and a coke.”
 

stevent222

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A 97 year old man goes into his doctor's office and says,

"Doc, I want my sex drive lowered."

"Sir", replied the doctor, "You're 97.

Don't you think your sex drive is all in your head?"

"You're damned right it is!" replied the old man.

"That's why I want it lowered!"
 

stevent222

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Once upon a time there were two brothers.
One brother was very mischievous, always getting into trouble.
The other brother, however, was very good.
He was always kind to animals, helped elderly neighbors, and led an exemplary life.

As time went on, the brothers stayed in touch but were never close. The evil brother


became a heavy drinker and a womanizer.

The other brother was a devoted husband and father and supported many charities.

One day the evil brother died.
Then, after a few years, the good brother passed away.
He went to heaven and was rewarded with a happy afterlife.

One day he went to God and asked, "Where is my brother?
He died before me, but I have not seen him here in heaven."

God replied, "As you know, your brother led an evil life, so he is not
spending eternity here in heaven. He has been sent elsewhere."

I'm sorry to hear that", the good brother replied. "But I do miss him and wish I could see


him again."

"You can see him if you wish", God said "I will give you the power to gaze into hell."

So the power was granted and the good brother gazed into hell.

Before long he saw his brother sitting on a bench. In one arm he held a keg of beer, and in


the other he cradled a gorgeous young blonde.

The good brother turned to God and said, "I can't believe what I'm seeing.

I have found my brother, and he has a keg of beer in one arm and a beautiful woman in


the other. Surely, hell can not be that bad."

God explained. "Things are not always as they seem, my son.
The keg has a hole in it.
The blonde doesn't."