Religious fervour!

konifur

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brilor

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I TRULY DID NOT KNOW THIS!


Las Vegas Churches accept gambling chips?

THIS MAY COME AS A SURPRISE TO THOSE OF YOU NOT LIVING IN LAS VEGAS, BUT THERE ARE MORE CATHOLIC CHURCHES THAN CASINOS.

NOT SURPRISINGLY, SOME WORSHIPPERS AT SUNDAY SERVICES WILL GIVE CASINO CHIPS RATHER THAN CASH WHEN THE BASKET IS PASSED.

SINCE THEY GET CHIPS FROM MANY DIFFERENT CASINOS, THE CHURCHES HAVE DEVISED A METHOD TO COLLECT THE OFFERINGS.

THE CHURCHES SEND ALL THEIR COLLECTED CHIPS TO A NEARBY FRANCISCAN MONASTERY FOR SORTING AND THEN THE CHIPS ARE TAKEN TO THE CASINOS OF ORIGIN AND CASHED IN.

THIS IS DONE BY THE CHIP MONKS.


YOU DIDN'T EVEN SEE IT COMING DID YOU? --
 

brilor

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Two Irish nuns have just arrived in USA by boat, and one says to the other,
"I hear that the people in this country actually eat dogs."


"Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America , we
might as well do as the Americans do."


As they sit, they hear a push cart vendor yelling, "Hot Dogs, get your
dogs here," and they both walk towards the hot dog cart.


"Two dogs, please!," says one. The vendor is very pleased to oblige,
wraps both hot dogs in foil and hands them over.


Excited, the nuns hurry to a bench and begin to unwrap their 'dogs.'

The mother superior is first to open hers.
She begins to blush, and then after staring at it for a moment, leans to
the other Nun and in a soft brogue whispers.
"What part did you get?"
 

brilor

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In Jerusalem , a female CNN journalist heard about a very old Jewish man
who had been going to the Wailing Wall to pray, twice a day, everyday, for a
long, long time, so she went to check it out.

She went to the Wailing Wall and there he was.
She watched him pray, and after about 45 minutes when he turned to
leave, she approached him for an interview.

"I'm Rebecca Smith from CNN. Sir, how long have you been coming to the
wall and praying?"

"For about 60 years."

"60 years! That's amazing! What do you pray for?"
"I pray for peace between the Christians, Jews and the Muslims. I pray
for all the hatred to stop and I pray for all our children to grow up in
safety and friendship."

"How do you feel after doing this for 60 years?"

"Like I'm talking to a f*****g wall."
 

brilor

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The parish priest went on a fishing trip. On the last day of his trip he hooked a monster fish and proceeded to reel it in.

The guide, holding a net, yelled, "Look at the size of that Son of a B***h!"

"Son, I'm a priest. Your language is uncalled for!"

"No, Father, that's what kind of fish it is - a Son of a B***h fish!"

"Really? Well then, help me land this Son of a B***h!"

Once in the boat, they marveled at the size of the monster. "Father, that's the biggest Son of a B***h I've ever seen."

"Yes, it is a big Son of a B***h. What should I do with it?"

"Why, eat it of course. You've never tasted anything as good as Son of a B***h!" Elated, the priest headed home to the rectory.

While unloading his gear and his prize catch, Sister Mary inquired about his Trip."Take a look at this big Son of a B***h I caught!"

Sister Mary gasped and clutched her rosary, "Father!"

"It's OK, Sister. That's what kind of fish it is, a Son of a B***h fish!"

"Oh, well then, what are you going to do with that big Son of a B***h?"

Sister Mary informed the priest that the new Bishop was scheduled to Visit in a few days and that they should fix the Son of a B***h for his Dinner.

"I'll even clean the Son of a B***h", she said.

As she was cleaning the huge fish, the Friar walked in. "What are you doing Sister?"

"Father wants me to clean this big Son of a B***h for the new Bishop's Dinner."

"Sister! I'll clean it if you're so upset! Please watch your language!"

"No, no, no, it's called a Son of a B***h fish."

"Really? Well, in that case, I'll fix up a great meal to go with it, And that Son of a B***h can be the main course!
Let me know when you've finished cleaning that Son of a B***h."

On the night of the new Bishop's visit, everything was perfect.The Friar had prepared an excellent meal.

The wine was fine, and the fish was excellent.The new Bishop said, "This is great fish, where did you get it?"

"I caught that Son of a B***h!" proclaimed the proud priest.

"And I cleaned the Son of a B***h!" exclaimed the Sister.

The Friar added, "And I prepared the Son of a B***h, using a special Recipe!"

The new Bishop looked around at each of them. A big smile slowly crept across his face as he said,

"You f***rs are my kind of people!"
 

brilor

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The small girl was allowed to stay up for the start of her parent's dinner party with her mothers friends and as a treat was given the chance to say Grace.

"But I don't know what to say" she whispered nervously to her mother.

Her mother helped her out....

"Just say what Daddy said before breakfast this morning.
You remember, 'Oh God....."


"Oh yes, I remember now," said the little girl,
"Oh God, do we have to have those boring old farts around for dinner tonight?"