Religious fervour!

squirt

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brilor

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The Police knocked on my door yesterday and asked me to take down my Islamic State flag.
Turned out I had black tablecloth hung out on the line and a bird had shit on it!
 

brilor

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I knocked on a Jehovah witness's door and asked if they'd be interested in Atheism.
"Do you call on everyone's door spreading this nonsense?" she asked.
"Yes," I replied, " Frigging annoying ain't it!"
 

brilor

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Hitler walks up to the Pearly Gates and says to St Peter, "I'd like to come in."

St Peter: "Not likely!"

Hitler: I've repented and I've given back all the gold and treasures that I stole from the Jews, and I'm really sorry."

At that point, Jesus walks up and asks what's going on. St Peter: "It's Hitler here, he wants to come in."

Jesus: "Bugger off!"

Hitler: "No, it's true! To prove it, I've got a six foot solid gold cross I can't find the owner of. I could give that to you."

Now Jesus was partial to crosses, so he went to see God. Jesus: "Hey Dad, I've got Hitler outside and he wants to come in now he's repented."

God: "Tell him to get lost!"

Jesus: "But Dad, he's given back all the gold that he stole from the Jews - except for a six foot, solid gold cross he can't find the owner for. He says I can have it."

God: "And what do you want with a solid gold cross? You couldn't even carry a sodding wooden one!"