Return To Innocence: Chasing The Sunset & Facing Myself

squirt

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#41
so maybe it's time to say good-bye to her, and create a new woman out of the pieces

allow yourself to grieve for her, watch her fade into the sunset, then shut the door, because life is lived forward, and while you may not be where you wanted to be, you may be 100% assured that you are exactly where you need to be, not all lessons are for us to learn, some lessons are learned through others, there's somebody out there who's got a thing or 2 to learn, and you're the only person on the planet who can teach them what it is they're supposed to know
I understand that there's a part of you that will always be "broken", but I also know that God can take that brokenness and turn it into glory
Be well, my friend! :kiss:
 

AuroraAngel

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#42
[QUOTE="squirt, post: 5071599]so maybe it's time to say good-bye to her, and create a new woman out of the pieces

allow yourself to grieve for her, watch her fade into the sunset, then shut the door, because life is lived forward, and while you may not be where you wanted to be, you may be 100% assured that you are exactly where you need to be, not all lessons are for us to learn, some lessons are learned through others, there's somebody out there who's got a thing or 2 to learn, and you're the only person on the planet who can teach them what it is they're supposed to know
I understand that there's a part of you that will always be "broken", but I also know that God can take that brokenness and turn it into glory
Be well, my friend! :kiss:
[/QUOTE]



And you!

 

sexysadie

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#44
[QUOTE="AuroraAngel, post: 4988517]During my last visit to the forums, I vented off about my depression and anxiety problems but let those problems get the best of me when a few of you tried to show understanding. :oops:

Manzy had written about finding the sunset after the clouds had cleared. I really liked her view and her words gave me hope that someday I may find myself again and be well. Thank you, Manzy! :littleheart:

I had tossed around this idea of posting, occasionally, my own progress toward healing. To be honest, I wasn't sure many would be interested in reading this type of thread since it is a touchy subject and most people enjoy the humor on the forums and not the crybaby crap.

But I decided to give it a go despite the groans I am sure will be heard in the audience...lol

I entitled this thread, "Return To Innocence" because there are some cruel, life changing moments in my past that I wished I had never learned and this is my road to rekindling my child-like, fun loving side again.

Since my last visit, I have had a few successes to some challenges I was facing. The biggest one was getting my driver's license after years of not having one because I feared driving so much. I am back to driving myself where I need to go and not allowing that fear to push me into depending on others. Yay for some independence!
My next goal is to learn to relax and sleep more than I do. My doctor gave me sleeping medicine but when I see him on the 3rd of February, I am going to inform him that it doesn't help me sleep any more than I have in the past 16 years and I would prefer to take a more natural approach to getting more rest at night. I did create a bedtime routine for myself in an attempt to "signal" to my brain that it's time to sleep. It helped somewhat but needs more adjusting since I still have to do relaxation exercises to finally fall asleep.

Along with my new goal, I am taking some time to enjoy outings with family and to create new animations in my free time for a bit of fun. :D







[/QUOTE]

First and foremost, I'd just like to tell you how much I admire you for coming forward and talking about something so personal and difficult to share. You seem like such a good person and your strength is very uplifting.

I've always been an active person and prided myself on my strength, in every sense of the word. Not long ago I lost my job and found myself faced with having to make a huge life changing decision. The decision I made, unfortunately, caused me to hurt myself to the point where I had no choice but to take time off from the work I was doing and allow myself the medical assistance I needed and the time to heal. During this time I witnessed, as if from the outside looking in, the person I used to be, fighting a battle that wanted to allow my mind to sink into the kind of depression that felt all too familiar and for a while, I lost that battle.

Fortunately, with the help of my family and friends, I was able to find the strength i needed to overcome my struggle and slowly but surely was able to find myself again. I've since gone back to school to update and polish the skills I had and am proud of what I've accomplished.

Nobody is immune where depression is concerned, when it happens it can be overwhelmingly difficult to resist. Depression is no stranger to me, I've had to deal with it in the past and was able to overcome it then as well. The secret to success is really no secret, it's basically a strong support system and people who love you and care about you enough to pull you through.

Your story has moved me Aurora, and I thank you for sharing it. You are a true inspiration and I'm glad we're friends.

PS. Your teddy bear story had me in tears. Good tears though lol thanks for sharing.
 

AuroraAngel

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#45
[QUOTE="sexysadie, post: 5083055]First and foremost, I'd just like to tell you how much I admire you for coming forward and talking about something so personal and difficult to share. You seem like such a good person and your strength is very uplifting.

I've always been an active person and prided myself on my strength, in every sense of the word. Not long ago I lost my job and found myself faced with having to make a huge life changing decision. The decision I made, unfortunately, caused me to hurt myself to the point where I had no choice but to take time off from the work I was doing and allow myself the medical assistance I needed and the time to heal. During this time I witnessed, as if from the outside looking in, the person I used to be, fighting a battle that wanted to allow my mind to sink into the kind of depression that felt all too familiar and for a while, I lost that battle.

Fortunately, with the help of my family and friends, I was able to find the strength i needed to overcome my struggle and slowly but surely was able to find myself again. I've since gone back to school to update and polish the skills I had and am proud of what I've accomplished.

Nobody is immune where depression is concerned, when it happens it can be overwhelmingly difficult to resist. Depression is no stranger to me, I've had to deal with it in the past and was able to overcome it then as well. The secret to success is really no secret, it's basically a strong support system and people who love you and care about you enough to pull you through.

Your story has moved me Aurora, and I thank you for sharing it. You are a true inspiration and I'm glad we're friends.

PS. Your teddy bear story had me in tears. Good tears though lol thanks for sharing.[/QUOTE]

I admire your strength, Sadie, and you give me hope that I too will overcome this depression I am facing. I am happy we are friends too. Bless you, lady.
:teddyheart::rose:
 

AuroraAngel

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#46
I just wanted to give a big thank you to my Roo Family. I know I seem to disappear but I visit often just to see all your posts and get a smile or laugh. And sometimes, your posts pull me out of a bad situation, like recently...

Often when I get overly stressed or my chemicals become imbalanced because of colds, flu, etc., I have problems and pull away from everyone. I was having those problems the last couple days and instead of pulling completely away, I remembered how much my Roo Family can shake me back into the real world. So this time, I forced myself to log in and reply to comments made and try and get involved in posts. I'm sorry if some of my posts at the time were short and seemingly distant. I was distant but only because I wasn't completely here.

It's hard to explain. Yes, I have depression and anxiety but I also have an ugly disease that when triggered, throws me into a horrible crisis, where I ruminate about everything negative in my life and the world, blah blah.. I could go on and on but I won't. I used to just ride it out or try and shake it but sometimes it would last for months and that tool wasn't working for me. Now when I catch myself in that state, I reach out to friends, even if they are unaware of me doing it. I'm not one to say, "I need your help." Pride, yanno?

Anyway... Thank you so much for being you, my Roo Family. You are the best people on the web and I appreciate all of you. You may not realize the difference you make in some people's lives but you have made a difference in mine. :emoji_hearts:
 

Bamber

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#47
What we have here is utterly different from so many other social networks on the internet: people here who have never met actually do care about each other. I have benefited from this and hope I have also been of some support and assistance to others. At worst, we can provide a sympathetic ear.
 

AuroraAngel

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#48
What we have here is utterly different from so many other social networks on the internet: people here who have never met actually do care about each other. I have benefited from this and hope I have also been of some support and assistance to others. At worst, we can provide a sympathetic ear.
You are absolutely right, Phil. And you have been so good to me, many times over. Like when I ramble to you on Facebook...lol Thank you for being there for me, my dear friend. :) :emoji_heartpulse:

I'm so happy I am not the only one that has benefited from the wonderful place we call the Roo.
 

squirt

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#49
I would have lost my ever loving mind during my sister's hell if not for the Roo
every day was a battle, without a doubt one of the most difficult times of my life
between the medical procedures, uncaring medical staff (sometimes), the reactions she had to some of the meds, it was endless
I went there expecting to stay a couple of days, ended up being a couple of months, they amputated her leg ... 4 times
some days she didn't even know where she was, other days, the meds she was on would make her think, say and do things that made no sense, like one night, she decided she needed to get up and change some baby's diaper, forgetting she was missing a leg
but down in the van, I had a secret weapon, I had a laptop
the van had a hide-a-bed in it, and that's where I slept, rested, escaped, there in the hospital parking lot
I'd log into the Roo, get my loving cup refilled, get a few laughs, a bit of encouragement, and, sometimes, I was able to forget for a bit
make no mistake, you've given me every bit of everything I've ever given to you
this is home, and it feels like home, and home is where the heart is, home is where you ... and you ... and you ... and you ... and you ... are! hearts2.gif
 

roadkill

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#51
I just wanted to give a big thank you to my Roo Family. I know I seem to disappear but I visit often just to see all your posts and get a smile or laugh. And sometimes, your posts pull me out of a bad situation, like recently...

Often when I get overly stressed or my chemicals become imbalanced because of colds, flu, etc., I have problems and pull away from everyone. I was having those problems the last couple days and instead of pulling completely away, I remembered how much my Roo Family can shake me back into the real world. So this time, I forced myself to log in and reply to comments made and try and get involved in posts. I'm sorry if some of my posts at the time were short and seemingly distant. I was distant but only because I wasn't completely here.

It's hard to explain. Yes, I have depression and anxiety but I also have an ugly disease that when triggered, throws me into a horrible crisis, where I ruminate about everything negative in my life and the world, blah blah.. I could go on and on but I won't. I used to just ride it out or try and shake it but sometimes it would last for months and that tool wasn't working for me. Now when I catch myself in that state, I reach out to friends, even if they are unaware of me doing it. I'm not one to say, "I need your help." Pride, yanno?

Anyway... Thank you so much for being you, my Roo Family. You are the best people on the web and I appreciate all of you. You may not realize the difference you make in some people's lives but you have made a difference in mine. :emoji_hearts:
you are not alone my sister♥