Sick Jokes

brilor

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brilor

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Poor families burying relatives in their back garden because they cannot afford a funeral, MP claims.
That's what I told the jury ten years ago after my wife committed suicide by stabbing herself in the back seven times.
 

konifur

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"What was that you put on my sandwiches today?". I asked the wife when i got home from work.
"Crab paste" she said.
"Where did you get that from?". I asked
"The Pharmacy ". She replied
 

konifur

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Lorraine Kelly interviews Yorkshire Ripper:
Ooooh Peter it's lovely to meet you. How many whores did you kill again? Well to be fair they were asking for it and you did say God told you to do it so that's alright by me. You drove one of those big lorries didn't you? Always amazes me the way you guys reverse them into those loading bays. How was Broadmoor? I tell ye I'd love the chance to put my feet up in there for a wee while myself. Are you and Sonia still in touch? Bless her it must have been tough on her. Were you never tempted to batter her to death with your hammer? Go on...whats yer favourite colour? lovely to meet you Peter and best wishes. What a lovely man.
 

konifur

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*Sung to the Frank Sinatra - Love and Marriage song *

Love and marriage
Love and marriage
Is that Camilla
Pulling the Royal carriage
This I tell you brother
Grandma killed our Mother.