Sick Jokes

squirt

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lol ... punishment.gif
 

brilor

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I pulled this bird and went back to her place where after letting me come
in her mouth she jumped onto my cock and rode me until I came again.


As I lay on the bed trying to catch my breath she said with a cheeky wink,
"I've got another hole you can try that I bet you've never been in before"


I was thinking I was about to get my first bit of anal until she took her
glass eye out.
 

brilor

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Q: What's sicker than having sex with a pregnant woman?

A: Having sex with a pregnant woman and getting a BJ by the baby.
 

brilor

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I was fucking my sister, and she said, "Wow, you fuck better than Dad."

"Thanks," I replied. "That's what Mum said."
 

brilor

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I saw a bloke let his dog walk straight out in front of a lorry this morning.

The cruel cunt didn't even flinch when it was killed. He was too busy standing round, trying to look cool in his sunglasses.
 

brilor

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The horny midget found that the best way to make time with women was to be direct about it. So he went up to the tallest blondest woman at the party and said,"Hey, honey, whaddaya say to a little fuck?"
She looked down at him and promptly replied, "Hello, you little fuck!"
 

brilor

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F - FACE: Has it fallen on one side?

A - ARMS: Can they raise them?

S - SPEECH: Is it slurred?

T - TIME... to get her knickers down. The rohypnol has kicked in.
 

brilor

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I remember the first time I had sex, it was so awkward and clumsy and I also could not stop crying the whole time.

I didn't expect her to actually be carrying pepper spray.
 

brilor

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Guy goes into chemists asking for condoms for his 15 year old daughter
"Is she sexually active?" asks the chemist.
"No, she just lies there like her mother"
 

brilor

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Why is it that after having sex with women, they always seem to say the same thing to me?

"Where am I,..........Who are you"?
 

brilor

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Guy and girl are getting quite amorous, when he decides to go down on her.. After a few ventures down there he gives up, saying ” I love going the growl but damn you really stink down there”
I know it’s my arthritis, she says.
What in your cunt?
No in my shoulder, I can’t wipe my arse
 

brilor

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Got in trouble with the wife at dinner last night. Apparently when she said turn on the vegetables, she didn't mean finger her disabled sisters
 

brilor

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My wife went into labour yesterday.

As I sat there I began to see it's head peering out. It was at this point I realised that this was it. The rest of it followed the head out with a few almighty squeezes. It was a beautiful moment as I stood up and noticed the sheer size of it. I took a deep sigh of relief that it was finally over.

It was then that I decided to wipe my arse and head back in to see how my wife was doing.