Sick Jokes

brilor

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I call my penis 'The Pizza'.
It isn't twelve inches, but it is covered in cheese, and the occasional mushroom.
 

brilor

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I've got a new Idea for a really fun game, what you do is get 3 mental health patients, stick velcro to the back of their jumpers and put them in a room full of felt. its called Sticky Back Spastics
 

brilor

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Wife: your cock is just too small
Me: well, a little bird told me that it was just the right size for sucking
Wife: and who was this little bird
Me: your 12 year old sister
 

brilor

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I did my bit for deformed kids today. I took a group of them to a house of mirrors so they could see what it was like to be normal
 

brilor

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I filled out a job application for the local council today and under disabilities I put narcolepsy and tourettes syndrome.

So not only will I be able to sleep at work, but if someone tries to wake me up I can tell them to fuck off.
 

brilor

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I thought my dyslexia would prevent me from being any good at poetry, but so far I’ve made two salad bowls and a really nice vase.