A man and his father are quite into the wilderness thing.
One day the father was passing on his knowledge to his son
about surviving out in the bush.
He said "You must ration everything."
"You must ration your food so you won't go hungry."
"You must ration your water so you won't go thursty."
"And most important of all." he said
"You must ration your Toilet Paper."
"Your Toilet Paper?" his son asked.
"Yes son, that is very important.
You don't want to be caught crapping out in the bush
with nothing to whip your ass do ya?"
"No, but how do ya do that?"
"Here's the trick, you ration yourself to a square a day.
Just one square block of the toilet paper."
"What?? You must be kidding me, just one piece a day?
It can't be done"
"Yes, son it can. What you do is tear a little piece out of the
center of the square, and keep it for later. Stick your finger
through the hole and wipe.
Then you take that little piece you tore out and clean your
finger with it, make sure you clean under your finger nail too."
"OK that makes sense now, thanks Dad, I'll try that sometime."
A little while later the son tries it.
He sits down does his crap,
then takes one square of toilet paper,
tears a hole in the middle like his father said.
Wipes his bum.
He gets the little piece of paper and goes to clean his finger
when he notices a biggish size of crap on his finger.
He tries to flick it off with a twist of his hand,
but when he does he hits a rock