Todays Blonde Joke......

brilor

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#21
Pyramid Of Jokes​


There was 3 girls, a blonde, a brunette, and a red head. and they found a pyramid. they read a tablet that said "this is the pyramid of 100 steps. if you
get to the top of it, you will get what you've wanted all your life. but be warned, every 5 steps a person will pop out and tell a joke, and if you laugh, you can never try again."

so the brunette gets to the 5th step and laughs, so she could never try again.

the red head got to the 20th step and laughed, so she could never try again.

then the blonde got to the 99th step and laughed. then the guy who was going to tell the joke said "why did you laugh, i didnt tell the joke yet." then the blonde said "i know, i laughed because i just got the first joke!" :withstupi
 

brilor

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#22
Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive,
double-pane energy-efficient kind. Yesterday, I got a call from the
contractor who installed them. He was complaining that the windows had
been installed a whole year ago and I hadn't paid for them yet.

Now just because I'm blonde doesn't mean that I am automatically
stupid. So I told him just exactly what his fast-talking sales guy had
told ME last year; namely, that in just ONE YEAR these windows would
pay for themselves!


Helllooooo"!! (I told him). "It's been a year"!
There was only silence at the other end of the line, so I finally just
hung up. He hasn't called back, probably too embarrassed about
forgetting the guarantee they made me. Bet he won't underestimate my
intelligence again!
 

indianajoe

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#23
A blonde goes into a coffee shop and notices there's a "peel and win"sticker on her coffee cup. So she

peels it off and starts screaming, "I've won a motorhome! I've won a motorhome!"

The waitress says, "That's impossible. The biggest prize is a free lunch.

But the blonde keeps on screaming, "I've won a motorhome! I've won a
motorhome!"

You couldn't possibly have won a motorhome because we didn't have that as a prize.
The blonde says,"No, it's not a mistake. I've won a motorhome!"

And she hands the ticket to the manager and he reads...

(Scroll down!! YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE THIS... I PROMISE !)





"W I N A B A G E L"
I just pass them on, I don't write them!

pssst...sorry Sadie:blush:
 

sexysadie

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#24
A blonde goes into a coffee shop and notices there's a "peel and win"sticker on her coffee cup. So she

peels it off and starts screaming, "I've won a motorhome! I've won a motorhome!"

The waitress says, "That's impossible. The biggest prize is a free lunch.

But the blonde keeps on screaming, "I've won a motorhome! I've won a
motorhome!"

You couldn't possibly have won a motorhome because we didn't have that as a prize.
The blonde says,"No, it's not a mistake. I've won a motorhome!"

And she hands the ticket to the manager and he reads...

(Scroll down!! YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE THIS... I PROMISE !)
[/FONT]




"W I N A B A G E L"
I just pass them on, I don't write them!

pssst...sorry Sadie:blush:
No need for sorry's Joe..lol..but that spanking is looking better and better!! :hehe::music:
 

brilor

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#25
A new young blonde bride calls her mother in tears.
She sobs, "Robert doesn't appreciate what I do for him."

"Now, now," her mother comforted, "I am sure it was all just a misunderstanding."

"No, mother," you don't understand.
"I bought a frozen turkey roll and he yelled and screamed at me about the price!"

"Well, the nerve of that lousy cheapskate!" says her mom.
"Those turkey rolls are only a few dollars."

"No, mother it wasn't the price of the turkey, it was the airplane ticket."
"Airplane ticket.... What did you need an airplane ticket for?"

"Well mother, when I went to fix it, I looked at the directions on the package and it said -
'Prepare from a frozen state,' so I flew to Alaska!"
 

brilor

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#26
The water-proof towel
Glow in the dark sunglasses
Solar powered flashlights
Submarine screen doors
A book on how to read
Inflatable dart boards
A dictionary index
Powdered water
Pedal powered wheel chairs
Water proof tea bags
Watermelon seed sorter
Zero proof alchohol
Reusable ice cubes
See through tiolet tissue
Skinless bananas
Do it yourself roadmap
Helicopter ejector seat
 

brilor

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#27
A blonde came home from her first day commuting into the city.
Her mother noticed she was looking a little peaked and asked, "Honey, are you feeling all right?"

"Not really," the blonde replied. "I'm nauseous from sitting backward on the train."

"Poor dear," Mom said. "Why didn't you ask the person sitting across from you to switch seats for a while?"

"I couldn't," she replied, "there was no one there."
 

brilor

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#29
[QUOTE="indianajoe, post: 1983601]Spanking??!!! we get spankings here too ???!!![/quote]


And if you are really bad you might get a BJ!;)
(Squirt is always threatening me with that)!
 

brilor

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#32
A woman hired a contractor to repaint the interior of her house. The woman walked the man through the second floor of her home and told him what colors she wanted for each room. As they walked through the first room, the woman said, "I think I would like this room in a cream color." The contractor wrote on his clipboard, walked to the window, opened it and yelled out, "Green side up!" He then closed the window and continued following the woman to the next room. The woman looked confused, but proceeded with her tour. "In this room, I was thinking of an off blue." Again, the contractor wrote this down, went to the window, opened it and yelled out, "Green side up!" This baffled the woman, but she was hesitant to say anything. In the next room, the woman said she would like it painted in a light rose color. And once more, the contractor opened the window and yelled, "Green side up!" Struck with curiosity, the woman mustered up the nerve to ask, "Why do you keep yelling 'Green side up' out my window every time I tell you the color I would like the room?" The contractor replied, "Because I have a crew of blondes laying sod across the street."
 

squirt

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#33
How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Blondes don't screw in light bulbs. They screw in Jacuzzis
 

squirt

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#35
A blonde and her girlfriend went to the beach for the day. As they wandered up and down the shoreline in their bikinis the girlfriend began to notice that the blonde seemed to be having some difficulty walking. The girlfriend finally said, "Did you hurt your leg or something? You're walking very strangely." The blonde replied, "I have a big date tonight and I've got curlers in my hair."
 

LAWRENCE

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#36
At the pub, a little blonde guy exchanged words with
a big bald guy,and it looked like they were about to
go to blows.

"You've got a lot of nerve for such a shrimp!" snarled
the big guy.

"Look, you big jerk," barked the little blonde guy.
"I'm not scared of anybody, or anything! I come from
a long line of jumpers. My great-grandfather jumped
with no parachute from a balloon. My grand-
father jumped without a 'chute from a biplane. My
mother and father both jumped from a jet. And tomorrow,
*I* jump from a rocket!"

"You're crazy, you little twerp," said the big guy.
"You could get killed!"

"So what?" said the little blonde guy. "I have no family!"


*************************
 

squirt

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#39
On a plane flight from Seattle to Chicago, a blonde was sitting in economy class. About half way through the flight, she got up and moved to an empty seat in first class. A flight attendant, who observed this, went over to her and politely explained that she had to move back to economy class because that was what her ticket was for. The blonde replied, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Chicago and I'm staying right here."

After several attempts to explain to the blonde why she had to return to economy class, the flight attendant gave up. She went to the cockpit and explained the situation to the pilot and co-pilot. The co-pilot said, "Let me try." He went up to the blonde and politely tried to explain to her why she needed to return to her seat in economy class.

But the blonde only replied, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Chicago and I'm staying right here." Frustrated, the co-pilot returned to the cockpit. He suggested that perhaps they should have the airline call the police and have her arrested when they land.

"Wait a minute," said the pilot, "Did you say she's blonde? I can handle this. My wife is a blonde. I speak Blonde." So he went up to the woman sitting in first class and whispered something in her ear.

"I'm sorry," said the blonde, and she promptly got up and returned to her seat in economy class. "What did you say to her?" asked the astonished flight attendant and co-pilot. To which the pilot replied, "I just told her that first class isn't going to Chicago."