Todays Blonde Joke......

brilor

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The blonde went to an eye doctor to have her eyes checked for glasses.
The doctor directed her to read various letters with the left eye while covering the right eye.
The blonde was so mixed up on which eye was which that the eye doctor in disgust took a paper sack with a hole to see through, and put it on her head to cover up the appropriate eye and asked her to read the letters.
As he did so, he noticed the blonde had tears streaming down her face. "Look," said the doctor, "there's no need to get upset about getting glasses."

"I know," agreed the blonde, "But I kind of had my heart set on wire frames."
 

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A beautiful blonde goes into a bar and sits down next to a guy that's so homely looking, he hasn't had a date in over a year, also, he's sooooo dumb that one night he slept with a ruler next to his head to see how long he slept. So he figures that he has absolutely no chance in the world to score a date with this ravishing buxom blonde.
Then suddenly she strikes up a conversation with him and soon they become rather chummy. It starts to get late and the bartender calls out last drink for alcohol, then the blonde leans over to the guy and says, "Let's have this last drink at my apartment."
Taken back by her request, and trembling, the guy finally utters the word, "OK."
They get up from the bar stool arm and arm headed for the door, when the blonde stops him and says, "Before we go back to my apartment there's one thing I have to tell you, I'm on my menstrual cycle."

He says."That's ok, I'll follow you in my Honda."
 

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The blonde went to an eye doctor to have her eyes checked for glasses.
The doctor directed her to read various letters with the left eye while covering the right eye.
The blonde was so mixed up on which eye was which that the eye doctor in disgust took a paper sack with a hole to see through, and put it on her head to cover up the appropriate eye and asked her to read the letters.
As he did so, he noticed the blonde had tears streaming down her face. "Look," said the doctor, "there's no need to get upset about getting glasses."

"I know," agreed the blonde, "But I kind of had my heart set on wire frames."
awwwwwwwwwwww ... 1hug.gif
 

brilor

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Two blondes walk up to a perfume counter.
The first one picks up a sample bottle, sprays it on her wrist, smells it, and says, "That's nice, don't you think, Tracy?"
Tracy says, "Yeah. What's it called, Sharon?"
Sharon says, "Viens a moi."
Tracy says, "Viens a moi? What's that mean?"
The store clerk says, "Viens a moi, ladies, is French for 'Come to me.'"

Sharon takes another sniff and says, "That doesn't smell like come to me. Does it smell like come to you?"
 

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A very well-built young blonde was lying on her psychiatrist's couch telling him how frustrated she was since she always failed at everything she seemed to try.
"I've tried to be a secretary and failed," she complained. "I tried to be an actress and failed. Then, I tried sales and I failed at that too."
The doctor thought for a moment and then said, "It is important for everyone to live a full and meaningful life. Have you tried nursing?"
She thought about his suggestion for a second, then opened her blouse and revealed one of her 'twins'.

Pointing it at the doctor, she said, "OK, I'll give it a try."
 

brilor

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Suzie meets up with Sandi as she's picking up her car from the mechanic.
Suzie asks, "Everything ok with your car now?"
"Yes, thank goodness" Sandi replies.
"Weren't you worried the mechanic might try to rip you off?"

"Yeah I was, but he didn't. I was SO relieved when he told me all I needed was blinker fluid.
 

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A blonde heard that milk baths would make her beautiful.
She left a note for her milkman to leave 15 gallons of milk.
When the milkman read the note he felt there must be a mistake.
He thought she probably meant 1.5 gallons, so he knocked on the door to clarify the point.
The blonde came to the door and the milkman said,
"I found your note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 15 gallons or 1.5 gallons?"
The blonde said, "I want 15 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath."
The milkman asked, "Pasteurized?"

The blonde said, "No. Just up to my tits. I can splash it on my face.