Todays Blonde Joke......

brilor

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At a dinner party, several of the guests were arguing whether men or women were more trustworthy.

No woman, said one man, scornfully, can keep a secret.

I don’t know about that, answered a blonde woman guest.

I have kept my age a secret since I was twenty-one.

You’ll let it out some day, the man insisted.

"I hardly think so," responded the blonde lady.

"When a woman has kept a secret for twenty-seven years, she can keep it forever."
 

brilor

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The blond called up the airline and asked:

"How long are your flights from Los Angeles to Phoenix?"

The agent answered, "just a minute."

At which, the blonde thanked him and hung up.
 

squirt

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At a dinner party, several of the guests were arguing whether men or women were more trustworthy.

No woman, said one man, scornfully, can keep a secret.

I don’t know about that, answered a blonde woman guest.

I have kept my age a secret since I was twenty-one.

You’ll let it out some day, the man insisted.

"I hardly think so," responded the blonde lady.

"When a woman has kept a secret for twenty-seven years, she can keep it forever."
giggles.gif
 

brilor

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A Policeman was drilling 3 blondes, who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the 1st blonde a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?”

The first blonde answers “That’s easy, we’ll catch him fast because he only has one eye” The policeman says “Well…Uh.. that’s because the picture shows his profile” Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second blonde and asked her “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?” The second blonde giggles, flips her hair and says “Ha! He’d be easy to catch because he only has one ear!”

The policeman angrily responds, “What’s the matter with you two? Of course only one eye and ear are showing because it’s a picture of his profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?”

Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third blonde and in a very testy voice asks “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?” He adds quickly “….think hard before giving a stupid answer” The Blonde looks at the picture intently for a moment and says “HMMMM… the suspect is wearing contact lenses.”

The policeman is surprised and speechless, because he really doesn’t know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not. “Well, that is a good answer.. wait here for a few minutes while I check his file, and I’ll get back to you on that”

He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect’s file in his computer and comes back with a beaming smile on his face. “WoW! I can’t believe it…it’s TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contacts lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?”

“That’s easy” the blonde replied. “He can’t wear glasses because he only has one eye and one ear!”
 

brilor

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A blonde and a brunette are running a ranch together in Louisiana.

They decide they need a bull to mate with their cows to increase their herd. The brunette takes their life savings of $600 dollars and goes to Texas to buy a bull.

She eventually meets with an old cowboy that will sell her a bull.
"It's the only one I got for $599, take it or leave it."


She buys the bull and goes to the local telegram office and says, "I'd like to send a telegram to my friend in Louisiana that says: Have found the stud bull for our ranch, bring the trailer."

The man behind the counter tells her, "Telegrams to anywhere in the U.S. are $.75 per word."

She thinks about it for a moment and decides. "I'd like to send one word, please."

"And what word would that be?" inquires the man.

"Comfortable." replies the brunette.

The man asks, "I'm sorry miss, but how is your friend gonna understand this telegram?"

The brunette replies, "My friend is blonde and reads real slow, when she gets this, she will see COM-FOR-DA-BULL."
 

brilor

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The phone is ringing in the doctor's office.

He picks it up and hears the desperate voice his last patient (a blonde)

"Hello, Doc! Did I leave my underpants in your room after the medical examination?"

"No," replies the doctor, "they are not here."

Half an hour later she calls again.

"Hello, Doc, it's me again. Don't worry anymore,
I found them -- they were at the dentist's!"



(Well he did say open wide)!
 

stevent222

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The Naked Cowboy
A Sheriff in a small town in Wyoming walks out in the street and
sees a blond haired cowboy coming toward him with nothing on but his cowboy hat, his gun and his boots. He arrests him for indecent exposure.

As he is locking him up, he asks 'Why in the world are you walking

Around like this?'

The cowboy says, 'Well it's like this Sheriff, I was in this bar down the road and this pretty little red head
asks me to go out to her motor home with her. So I did.

We go inside and she pulls off her top and asks me to pull off
my shirt.... So I did.


Then she pulls off her skirt and asks me to pull off my pants..... So I did.


Then she pulls off her panties and asks me to pull off my shorts.... So I did.


Then she gets on the bed and looks at me kind of sexy and says,
'Now go to town cowboy. '


'And here I am.'

Son of a Gun. Blond Men do exist!
 

brilor

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With their wedding date finally set, the blonde bride-to-be snuggled up to her fiancee and said, "Darling, I want to make love before we get married."
"But it's not long until June, dear," he replied.
"Oh," she exclaimed. "And how long will it be then?"