Todays Blonde Joke......

squirt

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I bet he did lol giggles.gif
 

brilor

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The other day my neighbour, who is blonde, came running up to me inthe driveway just jumping for joy! She said, "I have some really great news! I'm pregnant!!!"
I knew that she had been trying for a while so I told her, "That's great! I couldn't be happier for you!" Then she said, "There's more."
I asked, "What do you mean 'more'?" She said, "Well, we are not having just one baby. We are going to have TWINS!"
Amazed at how she could know so soon after getting pregnant, I asked her how she knew. She said "Well, I went to Boots and they actually had a home pregnancy kit in a twin-pack. Both tests came out positive!"
 

tasman

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A blonde secretary was getting ready to leave her job in a high-rise office building. As she stepped into the elevator, a young executive stepped in with her. She looked at him and said "t.g.i.f.". He looked back and said "s.h.i.t." She was taken somewhat aback at this, but was determined to make a good impression on him, so she said "T.g.if., thank God it's Friday." He said "s.h.i.t., sorry honey, it's Thursday."
 

brilor

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A lawyer boarded a Jetstar flight in Perth Australia , with a box of frozen
crabs and asked a blonde stewardess to take care of them for him. She took

the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator.

He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them
staying frozen, mentioning in a very haughty manner that he was a lawyer
and

proceeded to rant at her about what would happen if she let them thaw out.

Needless to say, she was annoyed by his behaviour. Shortly before landing
in Sydney , she used the intercom to announce to the entire plane, "Would
the

lawyer who gave me the crabs in Perth , please raise your hand?"

Not one hand went up ... so she took them home and ate them.

Two lessons here:
1. Lawyers aren't as smart as they think they are.

2. Blondes aren't as dumb as most folk think.
 

brilor

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The Doctor.

You'll be fine," the Doctor said after finishing the young Woman's surgery.

But, she asked, "How long will it be before I am able to have a normal sex life again Doctor?"

The Surgeon seemed to pause and his face reddened as a small tear ran down his cheek from the corner of his eye.

The girl was alarmed. "What's the matter Doctor? I will be all right, won't I?"


He replied, "Yes, you'll be fine. It's just that no one has ever asked me that after having their tonsils out".
 

brilor

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This blonde was walking down a road carrying a bag, when a guy came along.

The guy asks, "What are you carrying?"

"Melons," the blonde replies.

"Cool," the guy says. "If I can guess how many there are, can I have one of them?"

The blonde giggles and says, "If you can guess how many there are, you can have both of them."