Xmas cracker jokes. (Please add)

brilor

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#1
1st cracker joke of the season.
What did Cinderella say when the Chemist lost her photographs?
"Some day my prints will come".
:candycanehug:
 

squirt

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#2
you mean cracker jokes aren't about saltines? lol :thinking:
 

Goodgrief

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#3
Just bought a box of Tom Smith's crackers. Christmas crackers have been a tradition in our home for 40 years.
 

Bamber

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#4
It's a Brit thing. These are Christmas crackers:

They are generally placed beside each place setting at a Christmas meal table and contain a small gift, a paper crown and a feeble joke. They have a strip of card in them which is impregnated with chemicals similar to caps for toy pistols which makes a small bang when they are pulled apart like this:


Most of the gifts are mass produced plastic rubbish, but some crackers contain useful items and on occasion have even been known to have expensive items of jewellery. The jokes are still terrible, though.
 

brilor

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#7
What do they sing at a snowman's birthday party?
Freeze a jolly good fellow
 

brilor

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#9
What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?

A Christmas Quacker!
 

brilor

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#10
What did Adam say to his wife on the day before Christmas?

It's Christmas, Eve!
 

brilor

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#11
What do you get if you cross a bell with a skunk?

Jingle Smells!
 

brilor

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#12
How did Mary and Joseph know that Jesus was 7lb 6oz when he was born?
They had a weigh in a manger!
 

brilor

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#13
Why is it getting harder to buy Advent calendars?
Because their days are numbered!
 

brilor

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#14
What did Father Christmas do when he went speed dating?
He pulled a cracker!
 

squirt

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#16
It's a Brit thing. These are Christmas crackers:[/COLOR]

They are generally placed beside each place setting at a Christmas meal table and contain a small gift, a paper crown and a feeble joke. They have a strip of card in them which is impregnated with chemicals similar to caps for toy pistols which makes a small bang when they are pulled apart like this:


Most of the gifts are mass produced plastic rubbish, but some crackers contain useful items and on occasion have even been known to have expensive items of jewellery. The jokes are still terrible, though.
so, short and to the point? lol
:thankyou: :xxsandoos:
 

brilor

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#20
Prostitutes, Prostitutes, Prostitutes...
Sorry, I mean Ho, Ho, Ho.