Recent content by jrwwwww

  1. J

    One liners, back woods sayings, funny retorts useful in every day speaking

    If you can't explain it to a six year old, you don't understand it yourself.
  2. J

    One liners, back woods sayings, funny retorts useful in every day speaking

    "I thought Deep Throat was a movie about a giraffe."
  3. J

    One liners, back woods sayings, funny retorts useful in every day speaking

    Two things in life are certain, death and taxes. But death does not get worse every year.
  4. J

    One liners, back woods sayings, funny retorts useful in every day speaking

    "Religion is for those who are afraid of going to hell. Faith is for those who have already been there."
  5. J

    Groaner thread (please add)

    George III, Adolf Hitler and Napoleon are sitting at a bar, watching a huge North Korean military parade on the CNN. Impressed by the modern technology, Mad King George said - "If I’d had mechanised infantry like that I'd have smashed the Americans in the War of Independence." Hitler sighed -...
  6. J

    Groaner thread (please add)

    My neighbor. She's single & she's shapely. She's beautiful and she lives right across the street. I can see her place from my kitchen window. I watched her as she got home from work this evening. I was surprised when she walked across the street, up my driveway and knocked on my door. I opened...
  7. J

    Groaner thread (please add)

    A scene at City Hall in San Francisco "Next." "Good morning. We want to apply for a marriage license." "Names?" "Tim and Jim Jones." "Jones? Are you related? I see a resemblance." "Yes, we're brothers." "Brothers? You can't get married." "Why not? Aren't you giving marriage licenses to...
  8. J

    Groaner thread (please add)

    When ordering food at a restaurant, I asked the waiter how they prepare their chicken. "Nothing special," he explained. "We just tell them they're going to die."
  9. J

    One liners, back woods sayings, funny retorts useful in every day speaking

    When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
  10. J

    One liners, back woods sayings, funny retorts useful in every day speaking

    The other day I yelled into a colander and strained my voice.
  11. J

    Insults (please add)

    When you get run over by a car, it shouldn't be listed under accidents.
  12. J

    odds and ends ...

    You should not make jokes or attack an unarmed person. Yes, I am being bad.
  13. J

    One liners, back woods sayings, funny retorts useful in every day speaking

    I don't consider you a vulture. I consider you something a vulture would eat.
  14. J

    One liners, back woods sayings, funny retorts useful in every day speaking

    No more sense of direction than a bunch of firecrackers.
  15. J

    One liners, back woods sayings, funny retorts useful in every day speaking

    He was born stupid, and greatly increased his birthright.
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