Recent content by jrwwwww

  1. J

    One liners, back woods sayings, funny retorts useful in every day speaking

    If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers.
  2. J

    One liners, back woods sayings, funny retorts useful in every day speaking

    She could start a fight in an empty house.
  3. J

    One liners, back woods sayings, funny retorts useful in every day speaking

    Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
  4. J

    One liners, back woods sayings, funny retorts useful in every day speaking

    It is kind of hard for a man to have that kind of experience and remain cheerful for the rest of his life.
  5. J

    One liners, back woods sayings, funny retorts useful in every day speaking

    If you cannot be a great example, at least be a terrifying warning.
  6. J

    Groaner thread (please add)

    Two wrongs don’t make a right. But two Wrights make an airplane.
  7. J

    One liners, back woods sayings, funny retorts useful in every day speaking

    I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought I'd rather dance with the cows until you come home.
  8. J

    Groaner thread (please add)

    News Bulletin: France announced today that it had plans to ban fireworks at Euro Disney outside of Paris following last night’s fireworks display that caused a nearby French army garrison to surrender.
  9. J

    One liners, back woods sayings, funny retorts useful in every day speaking

    “Some Days it just don’t pay to chew off the restraints”
  10. J

    Groaner thread (please add)

    An Australian guy goes into a bar in the Greek Islands. Jill, the Australian barmaid takes his order and notices his Australian accent. Over the course of the night they talk quite a bit. At the end of the night he asks her if she wants to have sex with him. Although she is attracted to him she...
  11. J

    Groaner thread (please add)

    For those of you that work with family............... Jesus saw a crowd throwing fruit and vegetables at woman doing a standup comic routine. "What's going on here, anyway?" he asked. "This woman was telling really bad jokes so we were throwing fruit and vegetables!" one of the crowd...
  12. J

    "Painted" Bras

    Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder would notice these girls
  13. J

    One liners, back woods sayings, funny retorts useful in every day speaking

    Poop jokes aren't my favorite. But they're a solid number two.
  14. J

    Groaner thread (please add)

    4 nuns die in a road accident and go up to heaven. St. Peter meets them at the pearly gates. "I have to ask you something" he says to the first nun. "Have you ever touched a penis?" "Well" says the first nun "just once, I was a nurse, I had to do it, but I only used the tip of my finger"...
  15. J

    Groaner thread (please add)

    The husband says "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you." Yes, she says, "I remember it well." "OK," he says, "How about taking a stroll around there again and we...
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