Recent content by LAWRENCE

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    Lawyer Story

    A lawyer phoned the governor’s mansion shortly after midnight. “I need to talk to the governor, it’s an emergency!” exclaimed the lawyer. After some cajoling, the governor’s assistant agreed to wake him up. “So, what is it that’s so important that it can’t wait until morning?” grumbled the...
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    Interesting Quotes

    "A horse never runs so fast as when he has other horses to catch up and outpace." Ovid "I have often depended on the blindness of strangers." Adrienne E. Gusoff "The most happy marriage I can imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman." Samuel...
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    Three men walk into a bar ..........

    The first thing that the bartender tells them is not to go into the back room, it is forbidden! Naturally, as soon as the bartender leaves, one of then men goes into the room. He sees a really hot, big-breasted woman in there and hundreds of penises all over the walls. She walks up...
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    Barack Obama Thread.

    :bubbles:
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    Interesting Quotes

    A book is a story for the mind. A song is a story for the soul." Eric Pio "Being convinced one knows the whole story is the surest way to fail." Philip Crosby "There is no agony like bearing an untold story inside of you." Maya Angelou
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    Speeding.......

    A man gets pulled over by the police for speeding. The cop walks up to the car and says to the driver, “Sir, did you know that you were going 60 miles an hour?" The driver says, "Officer, there is no way I could have been going 60 miles an hour!" The cop says, “Really! Why is that? The driver...
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    Interesting Quotes

    "You need chaos in your soul to give birth to a dancing star." Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half. Gracie Allen "The moon is a friend for the lonesome to talk to." Carl Sandburg
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    First grade ......

    A first grade teacher was looking at her students as they were trying out their desk computers. One boy was staring at the screen, looking dumbstruck and confused. The teacher came and read what was on the screen and in her most reassuring voice said, “The computer wants to know what your name...
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    THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY....but aren't! (Snowfall Edition)

    got over nine inches last night. - Man, that white stuff is covering everything. I can barely see my own car! - I love when it lands on my tongue. - Go on. Lick that pole. I dare ya. - I got so wet playing with it. - Don't rub that in your sister's face! - Dammit! You got it...
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    Todays Blonde Joke......

    The Polish Blonde.... A blonde went into a world wide message center to send a message to her mother overseas. When the man told her it would cost $150 she exclaimed, "I don't have that kind of money, but I would do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother in Poland!" The man arched an...
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    Interesting Quotes

    For gold is tried in the fire and acceptable men in the furnace of adversity. George Santayana, 1863 - 1952 The most pitiful among men is he who turns his dreams into silver and gold. Kahlil Gibran, 1883 - 1931 No gold-digging for me. I take diamonds! We may be off the gold...
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    Three young boys.....

    Three young boys were boasting about their grandpas. The first boy said: "My grandpa is a great swimmer. He can swim for hours before getting out of the water!" The second boy said, "That's nothing. My grandpa always goes swimming at 6:00 in the morning every day, and only comes back at 9:00 pm...
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    Two dwarfs ......

    Two dwarfs go into a bar, where they pick up two prostitutes and take them to their separate hotel rooms. The first dwarf, however, is unable to get an erection. His depression is made worse by the fact that, from the next room, he hears his little friend shouting out cries of "Here I come...
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