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  1. M

    Computer jokes......

    Well, in this day and age we are using the internet more and more for our shopping needs and we can really see the impact whenever we look on the internet for something. I was recently talking to my mom about volcanos (She was talking about Yellowstone) and super volcanos and she had a question...
  2. M

    ones liners!

    If Mary Had Baby Jesus, and Jesus Is the Lamb of God.... Then Mary Really Did Have a Little Lamb.
  3. M

    Dumb Crooks and other dumb things that were done....

    Well, I had to post this when I saw it on Yahoo today - just shows you how dumb some people are (although I'm sure some - I hope, were joking!) Some Internet Users Thought Steven Spielberg Had Killed a Dinosaur By Ko Im - Seen on Yahoo on 07/12/14 We don't live in the prehistoric age...
  4. M

    TRUE (and funny/odd) stories - Please add your own.

    This one PROVES women don't take ANY EXCUSES regardless of how accurate they are!! My first wife wanted to paint the living room of our house (which was an off white of some sort). We went to the store to buy paint and she kept asking me which one I liked and I reminded her (again) that i'm...
  5. M

    TRUE (and funny/odd) stories - Please add your own.

    I suspect I'll get some grief over this one...... The other day I was watching a show on TV when my mother-in-law came down and said there were no lights, which I thought was odd since I was watching TV. I went over and flip a light switch and sure enough no lights. I told her we were have a...
  6. M

    TRUE (and funny/odd) stories - Please add your own.

    Just a quick note here. I had to buy something at the local store and used my ATM card that cost $22. As normal, it asked if I wanted any cash back and since I needed gas I said yes and selected $20 - Next the machine asked me if I wanted to put this ALL ON ONE CARD! :slaphead: Really?!"
  7. M

    Humm people were .............

    When push button phones started coming on the phone company "added" two keys for future use the "*" and "#" a side "advantage" was it made for 4 even row of numbers.
  8. M

    TRUE (and funny/odd) stories - Please add your own.

    Current event: Yesterday I made popcorn for my kids to eat while watching a movie and I went off to do something else. When I came back in my darling 2 year informed me of the "Mess" on the floor (pointing it out to me). So I got the vacuum out and started to clean it up only to turn around and...
  9. M

    Morning Coffee

    The actual Ad line is "The best part of waking up is Folgers in your cup" For those of you that are not familiar with it it is a popular brand of coffee in the U.S.
  10. M

    10 One Liners About India That Are 110 Percent True

    I have to disagree with one of those: India is the only country where you have to look both ways to cross a one way road In South America there are many "One Way" roads - it's ONE WAY, the direction you're driving on it.
  11. M

    TRUE (and funny/odd) stories - Please add your own.

    Here's another for you - I remember this after reading about Angelina Jolie and Maleficent. Back when you older set of kids were young (like 5 & 8) the wife and I decided that we should dress up for Halloween along with the kids. I already had a dragon costume so my wife went looking for one and...
  12. M

    birthday treats

    Shrimp Scampi for me. :ouch: I just told me wife she was a Fruit Cake baby.....
  13. M

    TRUE (and funny/odd) stories - Please add your own.

    Back when my wife was expecting our second child our three year old decided that she was expecting as well. My wife decided that she would get a "life-like" doll to give our little girl when the baby was born. When the day arrived I took my wife and doll to the hospital and after he was born we...
  14. M

    TRUE (and funny/odd) stories - Please add your own.

    Ok, time for another "life's little adventures" I went to buy my first car in 1969 and managed to order a 1969 Cuda Cuda for the price of $5000.00 That was great! However, when I went to get insurance because of my age they wanted OVER $1000 (bye bye great car). So now the real saga begins...
  15. M

    Todays Blonde Joke......

    I had a blonde friend call me up and tell me that she just dumped her boyfriend. She wanted to know if I knew anything about the new "Stud Finder" that she saw Home Depot advertising. I really hated to disappoint her so I told her that I understood it worked quite well at finding "Studs" - I'm...
  16. M

    Work Related Jokes.

    This is an "oldie but a goodie" TO: ALL EMPLOYEES SUBJECT: SICK LEAVE POLICY SICKNESS: No excuse...We will no longer accept your doctor's statement as proof. We believe that if you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work. AN OPERATION: We are no longer allowing...
  17. M

    Story Jokes

    Poor old Granddad's passed away, cut off in his prime, He never had a day off crook - gone before his time, We found him in the dunny, collapsed there on the seat, A startled look upon his face, his trousers around his feet. The doctor said his heart was good - fit as any trout, The Constable he...
  18. M

    women Jokes

    Women 1. Why do women close their eyes during sex? They can?t stand to see a man having a good time. 2. What is six inches long, two inches wide, and drives women wild? Money. 3. What do you call a Play boy centerfold that is a lesbian? Bitch. 4. What do you say to a woman who...
  19. M

    Drunk

    I got pulled over by an officer He asked "You Drinking?" I replied "Are you buying?" We both laughed........ Anybody got any bail money I can borrow?
  20. M

    Political Jokes - Free for all no Party, Country or level will be spared

    It's a slow day in the small town of Pumphandle and the streets are deserted. Times are tough, everybody is in debt, and everybody is living on credit. A tourist visiting the area drives through town, stops at the motel, and lays a $100 bill on the desk saying he wants to inspect the rooms...
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