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    The alphabet!!

    A wife asked her husband to describe her. He said: "You are A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K." She asked: "what does that mean?" "Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Fabulous, Gorgeous and Hot" he answered. She said: "Oh that's lovely. What about I,J,K?" He said: "I'm just...
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    To hoom it mei kansern, I waunt to aply for the job what I saw in the paper. I can Type realee quik wit one finggar and do sum a counting.. I think I am good on the phone and I no I am a pepole person, Pepole really seam to respond to me well. Certain women and all the menn...
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    Rules For Online Dating!!

    RULES FOR ONLINE DATING !!! Rule #1 Always ask for a photo. Rule # 2 Always ask for more than one photo. THIS CONCLUDES YOUR TRAINING FOR TODAY. THANK YOU!!
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    You Have to Watch This - Beautiful

    EXQUISITE is the word that comes to mind. You Have to Watch This - Beautiful YouTube - Duo MainTenanT - Benissimo
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    The golf nut and his other love !!!

    THE GOLF NUT AND HIS OTHER LOVE Vince and Nancy met while on a singles cruise and Vince fell head over heels for her. When they discovered they lived in the same city only a few miles apart Vince was ecstatic. He immediately started asking her out when they got home. Within a couple of...
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    NEVER Hide in a culvert..Especially In Texas!!

    NEVER hide in a culvert during a Tornado warning--or any time! .... ESPECIALLY in Texas !! A Texas Power & Light crew, putting in lines for an addition to the Hallettsville Airport , found the following in a culvert they were using... See the two (2) pictures below: Picture # 1...
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    What Is Politics?

    I think you'll get a kick out of this! A little boy goes to his dad and asks, 'What is Politics?' Dad says, 'Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I am the head of the family, so call me The Prime Minister. Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the...
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    Paddy's Fingers!!

    Paddy's fingers Paddy was working at the fish plant in Cork when he accidentally cut off all 10 of his fingers. He went to the emergency room in Cork 's hospital. The doctor looked at Paddy and said, 'Lets be avin' da fingers and I'll see what oi can do'. Paddy said, 'Oi haven't got...
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    Jumping On The Bed!!

    Jumping On the Bed Gotta love women~ A fifty-ish woman was at home happily jumping on her bed and squealing with delight. Her husband watches her for a while and asks, "Do you have any idea how ridiculous you look?, What's the matter with you?" The woman continues to bounce on...
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    Why Do We Love Children!!

    NUDITY I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved.. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, 'Mom, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!'...
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    Best Tsunami Footage I Have Seen!!

    The photographer has to keep moving up the stairs as the rushing ocean continues to rise and move everything by on up the hill and into the countryside. Stick with this video. Things get worse. Puts perspective on the water part. YouTube - Scariest video of a Japan Tsunami (2011)
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    BBQ Season Approaches!!

    ENJOY!! c9ts/z3/a/Z/l/c/
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    When Girls Don't Put Out!!!

    I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were...
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    Never Argue With A Woman!!

    One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book. Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up...
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    Happy Birthday Sweet Sexy Sadie!!

    Sadie my sweet friend..another year gone and you're still as sweet as ever.Happy birthday darling and I hope all your wishes and dreams come true.Have a wonderful day and don't eat too much cake..LOL. I LOVE you. Hugggssssssss. :kissonthecheek: :heartballoons: :gift: :iheartyoubear:
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    An Old Nun!! A Good Catholic Joke!!

    An old nun who was living in a convent next to a construction site noticed the coarse language of the workers and decided to spend some time with them to correct their ways. She decided she would take her lunch; sit with the workers; and talk with them. She put her sandwich in a...
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    My Last Trip To Sams Club!!

    MY LAST TRIP TO SAMS CLUB Yesterday I was at my local SAMS CLUB buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Jake, the Wonder Dog and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had an elephant? So since I'm retired and...
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    You Broke Your Collarbone How??

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    An old man and woman were married for many years, even though they hated each other. When they had a confrontation, screaming and yelling could be heard deep into the night. The old man would shout, 'When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave, and come back and haunt you for the...
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    A guy left home about 8:30 a.m. to play golf with his friends. On the way out the door he answered his wife’s “what time will you be home?” question with “probably about 1:30, I’ll have lunch at the club.” 1:30 came & went, 3:00 passed, 6:15, still not home, finally at about 11:45 PM he rolls...