18th Birthday Gift

MSjim

Member
Joined
Nov 6, 2003
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1,505
Eighteenth Birthday ...

The day I looked forward to for over two years was finally here. My best friend's youngest sister turned eighteen. I had waited for this since I met her when she was fifteen and I was twenty two. I knew then that she was off limits but we flirted with each other for along time. I remember kissing her just after her sixteenth birthday, her lips were as soft as a rose's peddles. I wanted her then but I knew she would only bring me trouble, so I patiently waited for her to turn eighteen. Today I would give her the present I have wanted to give her for years.


Almost twenty people showed up to witness Sandra enter into adulthood. She made her entrance walking down her mother's spiral stair case wearing a long pink dress which hung off her slender shoulders. Her hair was drawn up on top of her head with ringlets trickling down. Her dark hair shown in the sun light seeping through the hallway window. As she turned the finally curve of the stairs with the window behind her I could see the outline of her legs through her dress. I felt a twitch go through my pants picturing what she would look like totally nude. I couldn't wait to get this girl all to myself and give her the best present she would ever get.


The party lasted five hours and it took about an hour after that for everyone else to leave except for me, her brother and her mom. We were the clean up crew. I went a grabbed the vacuum while the others picked up the paper plates and garbage. As I motored around the room Sandra kept coming up behind me and pinching my butt. Every time she touched me I felt an electric pulse run straight through my already half hardened love muscle. I could tell by the playful look in her eyes she was as excited about receiving my gift as I was to give it to her. Year after year I told her 'Wait till you turn eighteen', well here it is and she wanted what I had promised her over and over again.


"Well I have to get going", I announced.


"Do you have to leave so early Frank, stay around and enjoy some dinner with us." Sandra's mother suggested in a loving tone.


"Sorry Mrs.Kellar, my mom wants me to pick up some stuff at the store for her. I'd love to stay though if I could", I looked toward Sandra as I responded to her mother, trying to hint for her to meet me at the store, I'd have to see if she actually picked up on it.


When I got to the store I took my time walking around, picking out a loaf of bread, a package of wieners and a box of condoms. As I made my way to the cashier I spotted Sandra peeking into the store then stepping back outside after throwing me one of her sexy, devious smiles. I paid for my goodies and made my way out to my car, where I seen Sandra tucked away in my back seat, hiding from any chance of being seen by one of her mother's friends. I was already thinking of the fun we were going to have back at my place. I was craving that tight, virginal cherry between her legs, and running my fingers through her dark hair while she licked my lolly pop.


It only took me about fifteen minutes to drive home. We jumped out of the car and ran for my door. We entered the house in a frenzy of hormonal excitement. I gripped Sandra by the hand and lead her into my bedroom where we ripped at each other's clothes. She fell onto the bed behind her as I lowered myself down to my knees to get a birds eye view of her virginal mound. Her flavour danced on my tounge, as I moved it up and down sending her into a moaning frenzy. I felt her fingers wrap into my hair tighter and tighter as her body tensed to my touch.


Sandra took the condom out of its wrapper rolling it down over my eager muscle. Then placing her hand on my chest, pushed me down onto the bed and proceeded to craw up to straddle my waist. Slowly she brought her wetness down to accept my member with a wanting desire. Her face showed her intense yearning as I brought my hips up to fill her to the max. Her breasts were taut and her nipples stiff from the excitement as I ran my hands from her hips up to her neck pulling her down to kiss her firmly, shoving my tounge deep within mouth. Her tight grip on me sent me into early explosion.


She was the sweetest and tightest thing I had ever shanked.
 

Patrish

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Oct 3, 2003
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15,780
:blush:

Ok, here you are writing some...um, interesting tales, right?
When you should be reigning in the hormones and perhaps writing your own publications. Your short stories are a bit over the top and slightly uncomfortable for public reading. I am critiquing only on what I am reading.
You have a powerful and dynamic imagination.
Your writing is very good, however you do lack 'knowledge' of women. ;)
Let me just say, on the whole, regardless of how much a young virgin might be inclined to desire a man, she would not be so forward, and it would not be so 'comfortable' for her.
In both respects to her humility, and lack of carnal knowledge.
And in addition, it would be painful for her the 1st time.

I admit, you do have the skills to write a good book, just 'know' your characters 1st. ;)
 

Patrish

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Joined
Oct 3, 2003
Messages
15,780
I want to add, I feel you need to balance more romance in there too. He ONLY thot of her in bed for all the time that passed? You kinda skip the fact that MAYBE he cares for her too.
I understand MEN have one single thing on their minds. :sad: but at least try to attempt to NOT alienate the female gender that is reading this too.
Women need and love passion, but romance and love are the ideals that bring them into desire....

Kinda like your writing, I don't see much initiating :blush: in and with respect and love....

Guess this is just a GUY thing. :p
 

sassy_yet_sweet

Junior Member
Joined
Oct 13, 2003
Messages
34
yea guess it is a 'guys thing' too....... I whole heartedly agree with you Patrish on everything you said. ... Things like this is why I didnt want to come back here to the Roo,... cause as they said they are 'reaching out to the elder people' well I guess you get what you asked for right?!
 
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