Alone Time

Dthunder

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Aug 29, 2005
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777
I have been having a problem lately that I figured I would put up here. I have lived with my boyfriend for 6 years now, dating for 7. I met him when I was sixteen and we started dating a year later. I am 24 now and am having guilty ideas about wanting to live alone. It's not that I don't love him, I just want to live alone. I moved right out of my moms house into his. I feel claustrophobic when I am home. This is such a strong desire that I even looked for an apartment- not seriously just to look to see what is out there.

I was wondering if anyone knew if this was normal? Like I said it's not that I don't love him, I have NO desire to look for another man ever as far as my mood is right now. I just want to come home to my own place and have everything the way I left it in the condition I left it. I don't want to have to "fight" over the TV or leave the room because his smoking annoys me.

Like I said this is a guilty desire and input would be appreciated.


P.S.
I know I haven't been around much, I have been studying a lot, but it's almost over (finally)!
 

TakinMyLyfeBack

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I'll make you a deal, you can live with my husband and believe me, you wont feel crowded, you'll end up begging for his attention. Since Im done with his cheating ass your more than welcome to him.
 

Dthunder

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He doesn't crowd me, often we are in different rooms. His stuff however is everywhere. I get a little corner in each room, for me and my stuff.
 

squirt

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I went straight from my father's house to a home with my husband, so I've never known what it's like to come home to things the way I left them lol
I can SURE understand the desire! I had a minister once tell me that it wasn't the big things that kill a relationship, it's the little things, and man, was he right!
I'd love to walk in the kitchen and not find cabinet doors open or coffee spilled on the counter and left, I just kept telling myself that he is more important
I think you're having perfectly normal thoughts, for what it's worth! :rose:
 

Dthunder

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[QUOTE="squirt, post: 3514363]I went straight from my father's house to a home with my husband, so I've never known what it's like to come home to things the way I left them lol
I can SURE understand the desire! I had a minister once tell me that it wasn't the big things that kill a relationship, it's the little things, and man, was he right!
I'd love to walk in the kitchen and not find cabinet doors open or coffee spilled on the counter and left, I just kept telling myself that he is more important
I think you're having perfectly normal thoughts, for what it's worth! :rose:[/QUOTE]

That makes me feel a lot better! I get coffee/tea spills too, I don't get whats so hard about it!
 

squirt

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especially when the paper towels are sitting right there? lol :thinking:
 

stevent222

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First off it really sucks to now hear that Squirt has a husband.

Now for you D thunder, and this is only my opinion.

1. He knows that you will clean up after him. Answer that with NO!

2. Ok its his house, why not say; "Hey! I live here too!"

Only in my very humble opinion and if that doesn't work I have an extra bedroom right next to mine. And you can have all the space you would want cause nobody really uses the living room cause the three of the people that live here have computers in their own bedrooms like me.
Yes its really a big house.
OK you love him; hey I love my ex~wife too and she lives in the other bedroom we have here. I dearly and turely think that you should live with someone that you don't know.
Oh, btw I've got another bedroom next to mine also.
 

Dthunder

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I think the worst is the clothes. I may be a little scattered sometimes, but I keep them in the bedroom. Not in 5 (not exaggerated) different rooms. I loose my towel in the bathroom because he tops it dirty clothes! :swear:
 

Dthunder

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[QUOTE="stevent222, post: 3514388]First off it really sucks to now hear that Squirt has a husband.

Now for you D thunder, and this is only my opinion.

1. He knows that you will clean up after him. Answer that with NO!

2. Ok its his house, why not say; "Hey! I live here too!" [/quote]

I've tried that. I really put my foot down on the dishes. Which have been there a very long time now. I'm getting close to caving long.

Only in my very humble opinion and if that doesn't work I have an extra bedroom right next to mine. And you can have all the space you would want cause nobody really uses the living room cause the three of the people that live here have computers in their own bedrooms like me.
Yes its really a big house.
OK you love him; hey I love my ex~wife too and she lives in the other bedroom we have here. I dearly and turely think that you should live with someone that you don't know.
Oh, btw I've got another bedroom next to mine also.
We have an extra room here we use as a computer room, I asked him a year or two ago if we could convert it into a second bedroom so I could have some space. It kind of got blown off.

Thank you everyone for your responses!
 
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squirt

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[QUOTE="Dthunder, post: 3514390]I think the worst is the clothes. I may be a little scattered sometimes, but I keep them in the bedroom. Not in 5 (not exaggerated) different rooms. I loose my towel in the bathroom because he tops it dirty clothes! :swear:[/QUOTE]

and shoes lol he's got boots in the living room, his slippers in the dining room and his tennis shoes are in the hallway lol :sigh:
 

squirt

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[QUOTE="stevent222, post: 3514388]First off it really sucks to now hear that Squirt has a husband. [/QUOTE]

what do you mean "now" ? lol I know you've posted our anniversary threads! lol :blowkiss:
 

jmdobson

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Apr 19, 2010
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sometimes we get into things a little too early and a some space might help. doesn't mean you don't love him, but you need to love yourself also. hope you can work it out. i haven't figured it out yet, either.
 

AutumnRain

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Mar 27, 2005
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I can only tell you my own personal experience..
after being on my own for 2 years i'm now living with someone and I am trying so hard to make sure my home is his home..
its not so easy, I will do his laundry as i do my own and my 3 kids.. but everything else is up to him..
if he makes a mess he cleans it up and if he doesnt he gets my foot up his backside :D
kidding aside tho its perfectly natural to want some space of your own.. i felt like that sometimes during my marriage but I stuck it out, told myself things will get better if we talk about it.. and they did..
Right now I have the house to myself and its fantastic.. i make sure I enjoy every little moment of ME time.. do you do the same?
 
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