David decided to retire

Boys Night Out

Jokeroo Enthusiast
Joined
Apr 8, 2008
Messages
39,856
One day David decided to retire ...


[jimg]qwh9/z3/T/B/Y/e/TBYea.caa.1-stuff-stuff-0821142.jpg[/jimg]
He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life, that is, until the ship sank.

[jimg]qwh9/z3/T/B/Y/e/TBYea.aaa.1-stuff-stuff-0821142.jpg[/jimg]
David soon found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing, only bananas and coconuts.

[jimg]qwh9/z3/T/B/Y/e/TBYea.baa.1-stuff-stuff-0821142.jpg[/jimg]
After about four months, David is lying on the beach one day when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to the shore.

[jimg]qwhc/z3/W/B/Y/e/WBYea.caa.1-Stuff-stuff-082114-3.jpg[/jimg]
In disbelief, David asks, "Where did you come from ? How did you get here?"


She replies, "I rowed over from the other side of the island where I landed when my cruise ship sank."
"Amazing," David notes. "You were really lucky to have a row boat wash up with you."


"Oh, this thing?" explains the woman. " I made the boat out of some raw material I found on the island.
The oars were whittled from gum tree branches. I wove the bottom from palm tree branches, and the sides and stern came from an Eucalyptus tree."

"But, where did you get the tools?"


"Oh, that was no problem," replied the woman. " On the south side of the island, a very unusual stratum of alluvial rock is exposed. I found that if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into ductile iron and I used that to make tools and used the tools to make the hardware."

David is stunned.


"Let's row over to my place," she says "and I'll give you a tour." So, after a short time of rowing, she soon docks the boat at a small wharf. As David looks to shore, he nearly falls off the boat.
Before him is a long stone walk leading to a cabin and tree house.

[jimg]qwhc/z3/W/B/Y/e/WBYea.aaa.1-Stuff-stuff-082114-3.jpg[/jimg]
While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, David can only stare ahead, dumb struck. As they walk into the house, she says casually, "It's not much, but I call it home. Please sit down."

"Would you like a drink ?"

"No! No thank you," David blurts out, still dazed. "I can't take another drop of coconut juice."

"Oh, it's not coconut juice," winks the woman. "I have a still. How would you like a Tropical Spritz ?"

[jimg]qwhc/z3/W/B/Y/e/WBYea.baa.1-Stuff-stuff-082114-3.jpg[/jimg]
Trying to hide his continued amazement, David accepts, and they sit down on her couch to talk. After they exchange their individual survival stories, the woman announces,
" I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to take a shower and shave? There's a razor in the bathroom cabinet upstairs."
No longer questioning anything, David goes upstairs into the bathroom. There, in the cabinet is a razor made from a piece of tortoise bone. Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside a swivel mechanism.

"This woman is amazing," David muses. "What's next ?"

When David returns, she greets him wearing nothing but some small flowers on tiny vines, each strategically positioned, she smelled faintly of gardenias . She then beckons for him to sit down
Next to her.


"Tell me," she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him, "We've both been out here for many months .You must have been lonely . When was the last time you played around ?
She stares into his eyes .


He can't believe what he's hearing. "You mean ..." he swallows excitedly as tears start to form in his eyes ,
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
"You've built a Golf Course too ?"
 

stevent222

Jokeroo Immortal Super *Star* & all around NiceGuy
Joined
Apr 3, 2006
Messages
354,458
LOL! I was hoping for bowling.

 

squirt

Administrator
Joined
May 5, 2004
Messages
816,307
I think he's on his ownies with that one lol :golfer:

smooooooooooooooooooch :inlove:
 

01Aladdin

Senior Member
Joined
Jun 10, 2012
Messages
6,973
LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 10/10

Never understood the game of Golf myself, but i drive a VW Golf convertible lol
 

TwiztedAngel

Senior Member
Joined
Jun 27, 2014
Messages
6,511
She sounds too much like me:

When bored, find something to do.
When you need something, but you cannot go out and get it ... make it.
Finally find a man, and he has absolutely no interest.
 

squirt

Administrator
Joined
May 5, 2004
Messages
816,307
[jimg]qbnn/z3/d/2/R/e/a.baa-Mod-POD-trophy.jpg[/jimg]​
 

stevent222

Jokeroo Immortal Super *Star* & all around NiceGuy
Joined
Apr 3, 2006
Messages
354,458

[jimg]mqon/z3/x/c/d/e/a.eaa-.gif[/jimg]
ON!
MOD!~POD!​
 

01Aladdin

Senior Member
Joined
Jun 10, 2012
Messages
6,973
[QUOTE="TwiztedAngel, post: 4555400]She sounds too much like me:

When bored, find something to do.
When you need something, but you cannot go out and get it ... make it.
Finally find a man, and he has absolutely no interest.
[/QUOTE]

That's coz you dont leave him anything to do lmao
 
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