Groaner thread (please add)

stevent222

Jokeroo Immortal God
Joined
Apr 3, 2006
Messages
322,022
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself
and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would
not turn on.
A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriff’s office, no less.
 

stevent222

Jokeroo Immortal God
Joined
Apr 3, 2006
Messages
322,022
now for the best IDIOT SIGHTING of all
How would you pronounce this child's name?
"Le-a"
Leah?? NO
Lee - A?? NOPE
Lay - a?? NO
Lei?? Guess Again.
This child attends a school in Kansas City, Mo.
Her mother is irate because everyone is getting her name wrong.
It's pronounced "Ledasha".
When the Mother was asked about the pronunciation of the name,she said,
"the dash don't be silent."
SO, if you see something come across your desk like this please
remember to pronounce the dash.

STAY ALERT! They walk among us......and they VOTE and have babies.

For all of us who are seniors...
The reason why baby diapers have brand names such as Luvs and Huggies,
while undergarments for old people are called Depends:
When babies poop in their pants, people are still gonna Luv'em and Hug'em.
When old people poop in their pants, it Depends on who's in the will!
 

stevent222

Jokeroo Immortal God
Joined
Apr 3, 2006
Messages
322,022
4 YEAR-OLD'S FIRST PAY CHECK

Here's a truly heart-warming story about the bond formed between a little 4-year-old girl and some construction workers that will make you believe that we all can make a difference when we give a child the gift of our time. Love the ending!

A young family moved into a house, next to a vacant lot. One day, a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot. The young family's 4-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the workers.

Eventually the construction crew, all of them "gems-in-the-rough," more - or - less, adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.

At the end of the first week, they even presented her with a pay envelope containing a $10 check. The little girl took this home to her mother who suggested that she take her $10 "pay" she'd received to the bank the next day to start a savings account.

When the girl and her mom got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own pay check at such a young age.

The little girl proudly replied, "I worked last week with a real construction crew building the new house next door to us."

"Oh my goodness gracious," said the teller, "and will you be working on the house again this week, too?"

The little girl replied, "I will, if those as$holes at Home Depot ever deliver the fVckin’ drywall..."
 

Bamber

Super Moderator
Joined
Jan 7, 2009
Messages
48,627
4 YEAR-OLD'S FIRST PAY CHECK

Here's a truly heart-warming story about the bond formed between a little 4-year-old girl and some construction workers that will make you believe that we all can make a difference when we give a child the gift of our time. Love the ending!

A young family moved into a house, next to a vacant lot. One day, a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot. The young family's 4-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the workers.

Eventually the construction crew, all of them "gems-in-the-rough," more - or - less, adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.

At the end of the first week, they even presented her with a pay envelope containing a $10 check. The little girl took this home to her mother who suggested that she take her $10 "pay" she'd received to the bank the next day to start a savings account.

When the girl and her mom got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own pay check at such a young age.

The little girl proudly replied, "I worked last week with a real construction crew building the new house next door to us."

"Oh my goodness gracious," said the teller, "and will you be working on the house again this week, too?"

The little girl replied, "I will, if those as$holes at Home Depot ever deliver the fVckin’ drywall..."
I first heard this 30 years ago with the punch line "I will if the fucking bricks turn up!"
 
Top