Groaner thread (please add)

stevent222

Jokeroo Immortal Super *Star* & all around NiceGuy
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jrwwwww

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Sep 4, 2019
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You do know why Raggedy Ann got kicked out of the toy box?

She kept sitting on Pinocchio's face and saying "Lie to me!"
 

jrwwwww

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Sep 4, 2019
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204
My Xwife and I know we have to make a few sacrifices for our marriage to work, but then animal shelter people got suspicious.

Then our Dog died and she left me. I really miss that dog.
 

jrwwwww

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Sep 4, 2019
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Every Monday morning for years, at about 11:30 AM, the telephone operator in a small town received a call from a man asking the exact time. one day the operator summoned up the nerve to ask him why it was so regular. "I'm the foreman of the local sawmill," he explained, "Every day I have to blow the whistle at noon, so I call you to get the exact time."

The operator giggled, "That's really funny," she said, "All this time we've been setting our clock by your whistle."
 

jrwwwww

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Sep 4, 2019
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204
Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic

(absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of

their beliefs using Boyle's Law, (gas cools off when

it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some

variant. One student, however, wrote the following:



"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we

need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they

are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to

Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how

many

souls are entering Hell, lets look at the different religions that exist



in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a

member of their religion, you will go to Hell.



Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not



belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to

Hell.



With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of

souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of

change

of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the

temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell

has to expand as souls are added.



This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls

enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase

until all Hell breaks loose.

2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase

of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until

Hell freezes over.



So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Teresa Banyan during my

Freshman year, "...that it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep

with you.", and take into account the fact that I still have not

succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then, #2 cannot be true,



and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze." the

student
 
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