A naked woman jumps into a taxi. The taxi driver stares at her, looking her over from top to bottom. The woman is offended and asks the taxi driver "What's the matter? Haven't you ever seen a naked woman before?"
The taxi driver responds: "Oh, it's not the fact that you're naked that bothers me."
"Then why are you looking at me that way?"
"Well, ma'am, I'm looking at you and thinking, 'where is this lady keeping the money to pay for this ride?'"
A man goes into the doctor. He says, "Doc, you gotta check my leg. Something's wrong. Just put your ear up to my thigh, you'll hear it!"
The doctor cautiously placed his ear to the man's thigh, only to hear, "Gimme 20 bucks. I really need 20 dollars."
"I've never seen or heard anything like this before. How long has this been going on?" The doctor asked.
"That's nothing Doc. Put your ear to my knee."
The doctor put his ear to the man's knee and heard it say, "Man, I really need 10 dollars. Just lend me 10 bucks!!"
"Sir, I really don't know what to tell you. I've never seen anything like this." The doctor was dumbfounded.
"Wait Doc, that's not all. There's more, just put your ear up to my ankle," the man urged him.The doctor did as the man said and was blown away to hear his ankle plead, "Please, I just need 5 dollars. Lend me 5 dollars, please, if you will."
"I have no idea what to tell you. There's nothing about it in my books," he said, as he frantically searched all his medical reference books.
"I can make a well educated guess though," he continued. "Based on life and all my previous experience, I can tell you that your leg seems to be broke in three places."