Groaner thread (please add)

brilor

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Mar 26, 2004
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jrwwwww

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 4, 2019
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251
Dear Tide:



I'm writing to say what an excellent product you have! I've used it since

the beginning of my married life, when my Mom told me it was the best.



now that I am older and going through menopause, I find it even better!



In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse.

My unfeeling and uncaring husband started to berate me about how clumsy I

was and generally started becoming a pain in the neck.



One thing led to another and I ended up with a lot of blood on my white blouse.

I tried to get the stain out using a bargain detergent, but it just wouldn't

come out. After a quick trip to the supermarket, I stopped and got a bottle of

liquid Tide with bleach alternative, and to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the

stains came out! In fact, the stains came out so well, that some detectives

who came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests were negative and my

attorney said that I would no longer be considered a suspect!



I thank you, once again, for having such a great product.



Well, gotta go. I have to write a letter to the Hefty bag people...



Signed,

A relieved menopausal wife.
 

jrwwwww

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 4, 2019
Messages
251
A naked woman jumps into a taxi. The taxi driver stares at her, looking her over from top to bottom. The woman is offended and asks the taxi driver "What's the matter? Haven't you ever seen a naked woman before?"



The taxi driver responds: "Oh, it's not the fact that you're naked that bothers me."



"Then why are you looking at me that way?"



"Well, ma'am, I'm looking at you and thinking, 'where is this lady keeping the money to pay for this ride?'"
 

jrwwwww

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 4, 2019
Messages
251
A man goes into the doctor. He says, "Doc, you gotta check my leg. Something's wrong. Just put your ear up to my thigh, you'll hear it!"

The doctor cautiously placed his ear to the man's thigh, only to hear, "Gimme 20 bucks. I really need 20 dollars."

"I've never seen or heard anything like this before. How long has this been going on?" The doctor asked.



"That's nothing Doc. Put your ear to my knee."

The doctor put his ear to the man's knee and heard it say, "Man, I really need 10 dollars. Just lend me 10 bucks!!"

"Sir, I really don't know what to tell you. I've never seen anything like this." The doctor was dumbfounded.



"Wait Doc, that's not all. There's more, just put your ear up to my ankle," the man urged him.The doctor did as the man said and was blown away to hear his ankle plead, "Please, I just need 5 dollars. Lend me 5 dollars, please, if you will."



"I have no idea what to tell you. There's nothing about it in my books," he said, as he frantically searched all his medical reference books.

"I can make a well educated guess though," he continued. "Based on life and all my previous experience, I can tell you that your leg seems to be broke in three places."
 
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