Hoolywood Squares

wife

Senior Member
Joined
Mar 7, 2004
Messages
8,656
>
>
>
>You remember the Original Hollywood Squares and its
> comics? These may bring a tear to your eyes. These
> great questions and answers are from the days when
> "Hollywood Squares" game show responses were
> spontaneous and clever, not scripted and (often)
> dull, as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host
> asking the questions, of course.
>
> Q. Do female frogs croak?
>
> A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under
> water long enough.
>
>
> Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least
> how high should you be?
>
> A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking
> should do it.
>**************************************
>
> Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000
> years.
>
> A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way
> sometimes.
> **************************************
> Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you
> probably a man or a woman?
>
> A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.
> ***********************************
> Q. According to Cosmo magazine, if you meet a stranger at a
> party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay
> to come out and ask him if he's married?
>
> A. Rose Marie: No; wait until morning.
>******************************************
>
> Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you
> get older?
>
> A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
> *********
> Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to
> say "I Love You"?
>
> A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple
> and a twenty.
>****************************************
> Q. What are "Do It," "I Can Help," and "I Can't Get
> Enough"?
>
> A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from
> the next apartment.
>
>*********
> Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or
> less with your hands while talking?
>
> A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old
> question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll
> never forget.
> ******
> Q. why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
>
>Paul Lynde. Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
>
>**************************
> Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries.
> Are you going to get any during the first year?
>
> A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing
> strawberries.
>******************
>
> Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
>
> A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
>***********************
>
> Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two
> subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is
> the other?
>
> A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
>********************
>
> Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or
> in the closet?
>
> A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in
> the bedroom.
>************
>
> Q Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
>
> A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
>*******************
>
> Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his
> tail. What will a goose do?
>
> A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?
>************************
>
> Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you
> give birth to?
>
> A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be
> afraid of the dark.
>**********************
>
> Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong
> with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of
> people?
>
> A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.
>****************************
>
> Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your
> body, what is it?
>
> A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly
> isn't neglected.
>******************88
>
>
> Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put
> horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
>
> A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
>******************
>
> Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time,
> your wife or your elephant?
>
> A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
>********************88
>
> Q. When a couple has a baby, who is responsible for
> its sex the mother or the father?
>
> A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is
> up to him.
>************************
>
> Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly
> believes in them and has actually seen them on at
> least two occas ions. What are they?
>
> A. Charley Weaver: His feet
>***************
>
>
> Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you
> should never do in bed?
>
> A. Paul Lynde: Point and Laugh.
>
> Hope this brought a smile to your face!
 

DJ Fester

Member
Joined
Feb 3, 2004
Messages
819
That brings back some good memories for me! I used to watch the original Hollywood Squares with my grandma, years ago... funny stuff!


Thanks for posting!
 

wife

Senior Member
Joined
Mar 7, 2004
Messages
8,656
That's what I though exactly DJ. My grandma raised me and she never missed a game show...
 
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