im so screwed up..i need help plz

itsyalilhomie

Junior Member
Joined
Jun 16, 2004
Messages
2
let me start by saying that ive just gotten over a very bad relationship with a girl that i thought i loved but it fell apart anyway. i have just now gotten over our 5 month relationship about 3 months later. what she did to me still hurts like hell. then i have this friend that i like alot. she and i have been "friends" that all because shes a whole lot more popular than i am and the only reason we became friends is that shes my neighbor and shes really nice and makes friend s with everyone. i like her and im not sure about her feelings towards me though. weve kissed a few times but she wants to keep it a secret. i know shes enough of my friend to not lead me on like that, but im not the type of guy that she would date. im kind of a shy person and i dont know if i should go for it or not. if she says no im not sure what ill do because im not sure if i can stand another heart break or not. and when my friends joke about us "messing" around because we live right next to each other she gets pissed about it. i mean things are really screwed up right now and im not sure what to do. ive tried telling her my feelings but every time i cant and im pretty sure she doesnt want to hear it. she also just broke up with a very bad relationship and she has a rep for having a "bouncing back" man. i know she wouldnt use me for that, but its getting to the point where i dont care if she does or not i just want to be with her. what do you guys think?
 

caramell

Member
Joined
Jun 3, 2004
Messages
1,378
<font color="pink" size="3">dang..im having like the same problem only its the other way around of course...i mean...im the girl wanting the guy...yeah..well all i can say is go for it...i mean if shes THAT popular and shes kissing you and you know she wouldnt lead you on...then theres gotta be soemthing there....right?
 

eclipse_storm

Member
Joined
Oct 2, 2003
Messages
1,360
Ok as for dateing the poular girl ..... don't do it. Everyone wants to but shouldn't. If you realy have strong feelings for her than just stay close friends with her and after highschool something could grow then but, from my experiance, all the popular girls are stuck up and are too into image. I was popular in HS, and i wouldn't date any of the popular girls. I suggest trying to be more asertive, once in a while. eventualy your shyness will disapear and might change the way she sees you. Tell your friends to knock off the childish teasing and you might get somewhere with her. But i wouldn't ask her out just yet.
 

DJ Fester

Member
Joined
Feb 3, 2004
Messages
819
I agree with Eclipse, especially since you're still having trouble getting over your last relationship. You need to heal that hurt before you can move on to another relationship.


If the girl next door is truly interested in you as more than a friend sometime later on, she'll let you know.
 

itsyalilhomie

Junior Member
Joined
Jun 16, 2004
Messages
2
ive thought that ive moved on from my last relationship thats why i want to see what will happen. and shes not like the regular popular girls i think the only reason she is popular is because shes a good friend and makes friends with alot of people. its not like shes rich or anything she just is really nice and sweet. and shes into her image but she doesnt spend hours and hours in front of the mirror. but thanks for your help i guess it would be a little better to wait for a while
 

VIRGO70

Senior Member
Joined
Jun 11, 2004
Messages
4,144
i agree that you should wait. if anything,why would you mess up a good thing by asking questions that you might not want the answer too? one thing you have to do is think of the situation that the kisses occured. where you upset about your ex and was she "comforting" you? in that case you have a friend that was just trying to make you feel better. but,she is young and most likely do have some not-friend feelings and is very scared to express them. by living next door she might be uncomfortable with the thought(what if we have a fight and he brings another girl around) you can imagine how that would feel. so ease up on the urge to spill your guts to her,time will tell if there is more that chemistry. be her friend,and if there is more kissing,just go with the flow,don't push it. if she gets another guy,just support her,and wait, it probably won't last.
 

starburst

Junior Member
Joined
Jun 13, 2004
Messages
25
itsyalihomie, You reallly should take the advise from eclipse_storm, Dj Fester, and Virgo70 They have given you some Great advise, You should listen to them! I am a shy female also, But I must say it is better to stay friends with your friend and nieghbor don't rush into anything you might regret later. I do not think you can handle any more Disappointments right now. Let yourself heal first before jumping into another relationship OK
 

sk8ergurl4life20002000

Junior Member
Joined
Jun 20, 2004
Messages
18
You think you r screwed but you are not. Have you herd the saying "there are many fish in the sea" and there is. Dont get to the point where you dont care at all because what kind of relationship is that? You can find someone who like you for who you are. I know that you like her, but... Not the be mean GET OVER HER!!!!!!!! Come on guy you know you can find someone better no matter how you are or what you look like. There are girls that will like you. Somewhere out there there is this girl "that is not her" that you know but do not pay attion to that likes you. You keep your eyes open and you find the girl that is just right for you. So get over that other chick find some one better. K i know you can!!!!
 

Jon Collardgreens

Senior Member
Joined
Jan 28, 2004
Messages
6,284
I know you have this big desire to be with her, but she sounds like she doesn't

care about your feelings. If she doesn't wanna hear it then she can cram it.

She does not sound like the committing type. You need a committment.

you say you don't want another heart ache. If you know that, then she is

another heartache. You would be setting yourself up for more heartache.

You should care about yourself. don't be desperate. You sound a little

or very desperate. Then your going on your inner feeling instead of your

self respect. Respectful people still exist. If you want love commitment &

respect you better respect yourself or other people won't. Do what ya wanna.

She doesn't sound as though she's ready to commit to you.

Save yourself for someone else. Believe me its worth it. I waited a long time, but

it was worth it. I hope this helps. Good luck.!!!!!!!
 

coltmaster2k

Junior Member
Joined
May 7, 2004
Messages
52
I think that you have to show her that you can be a whole nother person if you wanted to and that you should just tell her straight out your feelings for her and if it threatens to ruin the friend relationship you should probably just remain friends, but maybe try giving her flowers with a note that says from a secret admirier or something only you two know about and see her reaction to it.
 

PrincessHeart_tt

Junior Member
Joined
Jun 7, 2004
Messages
45
Honey with the advice we have all given you...you damn well know that you need to sit with your conscience and feelings, see both sides to any actions you might want to make. Also draw to attention "worst case scenarios", "the after effects"..Will all be worth risking your wonderful friendship. I've been in both situations, when I was in your place I told the guy, he didn't know how to handle it cuz' we had a brother/sister friendship and he stopped talking to me for a while. When I was in her position we tried it and it was not a relationship, it was just sex...great sex...we took a while before we got back into the friendship/relationship and when we got back we found each other a companion...Those didn't last either cuz' we were better off as friends that we didn't even need them...we had occasional rendevous, but remained friends up to this day.....Hang in there .."and try not to do anything stupid." - Captain Jack Sparrow (Pirates of the Caribbean-The Curse of the Black Pearl)
 

Jon Collardgreens

Senior Member
Joined
Jan 28, 2004
Messages
6,284
Thats good advice about the healing time. You need time to heal.

Or otherwise when you start another relationship,you'll be bringing in

unneccesary baggage in your new one. Take time to heal up.
 
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