king of his castle ...

Link021463

Senior Member
Joined
Aug 3, 2004
Messages
3,318
I can read your mind
I see through your eyes,
I hear your thoughts
know your dirty little lies...

I've heard your tall tales
know your secret little schemes
I whisper sweet nothings
hey, that's me in your dreams

I'll drink your soul
I'll tear at your heart
'tis no one but I
who'll give you a start

Do you not know me
I must bid thee ado
I won't be gone long
for I'm deep inside you

You need not worry
I won't be gone far
you know I'll be back
to deepen the scar

You won't miss me
I'll be back before long
for it's inside you
that I truly belong

For I truly am you
and you really are me
give it some time
I'm sure you'll agree

Copyright © 2007 by Lance Trottier
 

tasman

Senior Member
Joined
Dec 7, 2003
Messages
4,601
Seen on the inside of the door of a toilet stall (as you sit down): "Fine for dumping"
 

Lotty

Jokeroo Enthusiast
Joined
Dec 26, 2006
Messages
21,550
Congrats on the POD Squirt - Good one!

<a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://i122.photobucket.com/albums/o254/Lotty_54/Lotty/Congrats-1.png" border="0" alt="Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket"></a>

<a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://i122.photobucket.com/albums/o254/Lotty_54/Easter/CAE73W52.gif" border="0" alt="Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket"></a>
 

Wolfpack

Member
Joined
Oct 28, 2004
Messages
532
Seen on the wall in fast food bathroom stall:

It takes the human body an hour to turn good food into shit, it only takes McDonalds 10 minutes!
 

Wolfpack

Member
Joined
Oct 28, 2004
Messages
532
Here's some more for you! LOL


1) Here I lie in stinky vapor, Because some jerk stole the toilet paper, Shall I lie, or shall I linger, Or shall I be forced to use my finger.

2) Here I sit What a caper I have to shit But I'm out of paper

3) Here I sit Broken hearted Tried to shit But only farted

4) You're lucky You had your chance I tried to fart, And shit my pants!

5) I came here To sit and think. But all I do Is shit and stink,

6) Some come here to sit and think, Some come here to shit and stink, But I come here to scratch my balls, And read the bullshit on the walls...

7) (written high upon the wall) If you can piss above this line, the Hillsboro Fire Department want's you.

8) (written high upon the wall above a urinal) Don't look up here, the joke's in your hand.

9) Sign posted in a bathroom: We aim to please! You aim too! Please!

10) Seen above a urinal: Please do not throw cigarette butts in our urinal. We don't piss in your ashtrays!

11) Scratched into the paint of the condom-dispensing machine were these words: "Don't buy this gum, it tastes like rubber."

12) On the inside of a toilet door: Patrons are requested to remain seated throughout the entire Performance.

13) "$1.49 - All You Can Eat" (with an arrow pointing down into the toilet)

14) A sign I saw at a swimming pool once: We don't swim in your toilet, so please don't pee in our pool!

15) Another sign seen at a swimming pool: Welcome to our ool. Notice there's no P in it. Please keep it that way.

16)My mother made me a whore. (to which someone else added) If I give her the yarn, will she make me one too?

17) Under a sign that said "Employees Must Wash Hands," someone scribbled: I waited and waited, but I finally washed them myself.

18) In the men's room at a Burger King restaurant: It takes the human body about 24 hours to turn good food into shit. It only takes Burger King 10 minutes.

19) Sign seen at a restaurant: The hands that clean these toilets also make your food...please aim properly.

20) Here I sit, I'm at a loss trying to shit out taco sauce. When it comes, I hope and pray, I don't blow my ass away.

21) Here's one seen above a urinal: look up look up [even higher on the wall] keep looking up [on the ceiling] Quick! Look down! You're pissing on your shoes!

22) One of the funniest I've seen was also the simplest: Fart loud if you love your arse!

23) While your sitting on the toilet you see written on the stall door: Congratulations! You've one one free game of Toilet Tennis! Look Left. You look left and it reads: Look Right You look right and it reads: Look Left...

24) Everybody pisses on the floor. Be a hero and shit on the ceiling.

25) (written above a urinal) Why are you looking up here? Are you ashamed of it?

26) Some people come here to take a shit, I come here to leave one.

27) Don't look now! you're pissing on your neighbors foot
 

Wolfpack

Member
Joined
Oct 28, 2004
Messages
532
I couldn't help myself, I found some more. I've read these so many times, and they're still just as hilarious!


Bathroom graffiti
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING UP ON THE WALL FOR? THE JOKE IS IN YOUR HANDS.
- Mens room, Lynagh's Bar. Lexington, KY

NO MATTER HOW GOOD SHE LOOKS, SOME OTHER GUY IS SICK AND TIRED OF PUTTING UP WITH HER ****.
- Men's room, Linda's Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill, NC

IF YOU CAN PISS THIS HIGH, JOIN THE FIRE DEPARTMENT.
- on the wall in the men's restroom at a height of 6 ft. O'Ryan's Irish Pub. Ashland Oregon

BEAUTY IS ONLY A LIGHT SWITCH AWAY
- Perkins Library. Duke University

I'VE DECIDED THAT TO RAISE MY GRADES I MUST LOWER MY STANDARDS.
- Houghton Library, Harvard University.

IF LIFE IS A WASTE OF TIME AND TIME IS A WASTE OF LIFE, THEN LET'S ALL GET WASTED TOGETHER AND HAVE THE TIME OF OUR LIVES.
- Maggies Pizza, Washington, D.C.

IF BUSH WERE CAPTAIN OF THE TITANIC, HE'D SAY WE WERE STOPPING FOR ICE.
-Smoky Joe's, Philadelphia

REMEMBER, IT'S NOT, "HOW HIGH ARE YOU?" IT'S "HI, HOW ARE YOU?"
- Rest Stop off Route 81, West Virginia

BEWARE OF LIMBO DANCERS
- On the bottom of the stall door, Women's bathroom, Broad Ripple Brew Pub, Indianapolis

GOD MADE POT, MAN MADE BEER. WHO DO YOU TRUST.
- The Irish Times, Washington, D.C.

IT'S HARD TO MAKE A COMEBACK WHEN YOU HAVEN'T BEEN ANYWHERE.
- written in the dust on the back of a bus. Wickenburg, AZ

MAKE LOVE, NOT WAR. HELL DO BOTH, GET MARRIED.
-Women's restroom, The Filling Station, Bozeman, MT

IF VOTING COULD REALLY CHANGE THINGS, IT WOULD BE ILLEGAL.
- Revolution Books, NY

A WOMAN'S RULE OF THUMB, IF IT HAS TIRES OR TESTICLES, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TROUBLE WITH IT.
- Women's restroom, Dallas, TX

JESUS SAVES! BUT WOULDN'T IT HAVE BEEN BETTER IF HE WOULD HAVE INVESTED.
- Mens restroom, American University

JUST 'CAUSE IT'S CLEAN DON'T MEAN IT'S FRESH.
- Port-O'-John's, Acadia Nat'l Park, Maine

IF PRO IS OPPOSITE OF CON, THEN WHAT IS THE OPPOSITE OF PROGRESS? CONGRESS.
- Men's restroom, House of Representatives, Washington, D.C.

I USED TO BE INTO NECROPHILIA AND BEASTIALITY....BUT THEN I REALIZED I WAS JUST KICKING A DEAD HORSE.
- The Cellar Restaurant, VA

IF IT WASN'T INTENDED TO BE EATEN, IT WOULDN'T BE SHAPED LIKE A TACO.
- Nathan's, Washington, D.C.
 

Wolfpack

Member
Joined
Oct 28, 2004
Messages
532
[QUOTE="squirt, post: 1851840]lmao ... it's amazing how shit happens, eh? lol I had to come in here and tell you what a great sig you have, it gave me goosebumps! are you a firefighter?[/quote]

No, unfortunately, I'm not a firefighter. I've wanted to be, but never tried when I had the chance. Now unfortunately my health would never allow me to be one. But I have worked with them since 9/11 as a volunteer with the Salvation Army Emergency Disaster Services. While the Salvation Army works mostly with folks who need assistance, we on the EDS team work directly with the emergency crews (Fire Departments, Police, and EMS).

In fact, during large scale disasters, we will actually set up a triage to prioritize victims, take vitals and assist the EMT's. I love doing it, gives me a feeling of giving back to my community, and I still maintain my full time job (well, I was before my most recent injury 8 months ago lol) which earns me about twice as much as what a firefighter's salary would be.

I feel like I've written a book, I don't want to bore you, but I do want to thank you for your comment. I haven't been on in a while, and most of you probably don't remember me. That's ok. I just enjoy the posts quietly most of the time anyways, but I had a few things to add to this one.:)
 

squirt

Administrator
Joined
May 5, 2004
Messages
818,815
oh, you have not bored me at all! I asked! lol my dad was a firefighter, first for the Forest Service and then later in life as chief for the volunteer fire department in the small town I grew up in, it sounds like you've made a nice niche for yourself, the name rang a bell as did the pic but the saying below it was not something I recognized, thank you again for adding to my thread! :inlove: [/COLOR]
 

Wolfpack

Member
Joined
Oct 28, 2004
Messages
532
No problem, and Congrats on POTD by the way. Maybe I'll come back and post regularly again, we'll see. I've been really bored these last 8 months and still now, so this may give me something to do. But if and when I go back to work, y'all won't really see much of me anymore, so I've been kind of holding myself back from making attachments again.
 

Wolfpack

Member
Joined
Oct 28, 2004
Messages
532
lol, thanks Crudebug! She is tempting, but the wife would kill me unless I brought her home to share lol. I can feel myself being drawn back into being a regular on the Roo again! Not that it's a bad thing of course! I've actually kind of missed it! Well, there's really no "kind of" about it! Once a Roo'er always a Roo'er! We'll see.
 

Wolfpack

Member
Joined
Oct 28, 2004
Messages
532
lol, thanks for the welcome back Crudebug, and Squirt. I feel good to be back. Too much sitting back, and reading the posts, I might have to get these fingers working out again. As far as my wife goes, I am a very lucky man, and I'm not ashamed to feel that way. We're actually coming up to our 1st anniversary on the 30th of this month, so we still have a long ways to go. We've never actually "shared", but she's been talking about it. I may have the opportunity every man on this earth dreams about, but few experience lol.
 

squirt

Administrator
Joined
May 5, 2004
Messages
818,815
congratulations to you both, I just celebrated 29 years on the 23rd of last month, he would never consider sharing lol for that matter, neither would I lol he was my first date and my last lol I've been with him since I was 15, 31 years :thumbs-up [/COLOR]
 
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