Letting go

Dannon

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[QUOTE="Geoff_the_Beard, post: 4625554]Therapy is a good idea, but don't make the mistake of booking appointments just because the therapist wants your money. Make sure that what you both say is really helping, though that might not be easy to assess in the early stages. As others have said, the most important things at this stage are to define what YOU want for the future. A new relationship is clearly desirable, but only with someone who wants you to have the relationship on your terms. Although it is a truism that many women got into a relationship with a man thinking that they can could him into what they want, the reality is that men rarely change, except possibly for the worse. Take a long time building a new relationship, to make sure that the new man IS what you want, in ALL aspects. At the same time, be realistic. All the perfect men are already taken![/QUOTE]

You're absolutely right, Geoff.

Don't mistake what I typed. I am not looking to change a man or command a relationship but I understand what you are saying. When I was making notes of what I wanted in a man, it was certain personality traits that I find desirable, simple little things like a kind heart, intelligence, etc.

But like I said, you're right. It's what I truly want for myself for the future and right now, I truly just want to find some peace in my life. I want to heal and maybe later think about a new relationship or dating.

I will watch out with the therapy. I know full well that a therapist does not have the solution for your problems that you have to do the work yourself. Thank you so much for your advice. :luvins:

Have a blessed day.
 

Goodgrief

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Jun 13, 2008
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One more thing... Give yourself at least 2 years before you jump into another relationship. Feelings and memories take time to fade.
 

druid627

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Aug 17, 2006
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GG is right about that, and there is another reason besides memories and healing: getting back in touch with yourself. The things you do, is it because you like to do it that way or was it a compromise? This goes for some of the simplest things from food to scents, hair styles, clothes, resturants, etc. The world changed, and you have to find the you that best represents yourself, and present it to the world. Until you know who you are when this is done, please do not rush into things for the sake of getting out into the world again.
 

AuroraAngel

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Mar 31, 2004
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[QUOTE="druid627, post: 4627043] GG is right about that, and there is another reason besides memories and healing: getting back in touch with yourself. The things you do, is it because you like to do it that way or was it a compromise? This goes for some of the simplest things from food to scents, hair styles, clothes, resturants, etc. The world changed, and you have to find the you that best represents yourself, and present it to the world. Until you know who you are when this is done, please do not rush into things for the sake of getting out into the world again. [/QUOTE]


Well said, both of you. Thank you so much for your advice. :heartflowers:

I have no doubt that I will not only discover myself again over time, but I will be just fine.
 

AuroraAngel

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Mar 31, 2004
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[QUOTE="Goodgrief, post: 4628118]​Wishing you luck and happiness. [/QUOTE]


Thank you so much, Goodgrief. I hope you have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
 

AuroraAngel

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Mar 31, 2004
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I remembered this thread and wondered where it was buried. I forgot about my alt on the Roo (Dannon).

I never divorced my David. His health became so bad, I felt the need to stick by his side and take care of him. We had talked many times about divorce and yes, he was not always a good man. It got so bad near the end that he would refuse to eat or take his medicine to manipulate me into getting what he wanted. He also would refuse to tell me if he was having chest pains. I called the Ambulance many times because I was scared he was having heart problems and he wouldn't tell me. Everytime I called, he was indeed having a heart attack. It was that very thing that took his life and when I look at it today, it makes me weep that his health meant so little to him and controlling me did.

I did it though. I stuck by him to the end and for that I am happy because he would have had no one at his side when he passed. His family had disowned him years ago.

Now I comfort myself knowing that I put everything into our marriage and I was with him when he left this world. I hold onto the memories of David and the love that I had felt for him because I really did love him at one time.

And I am grateful to David because he taught me a valuable lesson-what true love really means. Sometimes you have to face the darkest times to understand the light, yanno?

Rest In Peace, David, and thank you.
 
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