Mackem jokes

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Mackem police are hunting a woman known as the knitting needle Nutter she has stabbed 16 people in the bum with a knitting needle in the last two days.
Chief inspector Ballcock thinks she may be following some sort of pattern

 

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Only in Macekmland, two junkies discussing the Coronavirus, one said to the other "It now means you cannot have a drag on my ciggie now" . I think coronavirus is way down the list of health issues for them.

 

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6:30 pm Covid 19 reaches Mackemland.

7:00pm Covid 19 stolen.

 

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Heard a Sunderland supporting couple from Mackemland are to divorce as they can’t bear self isolating together. They have agreed everything is amicable and they will continue to remain brother and sister.

 

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What has three teeth and is 50ft long?
The methadone queue at Boots the Chemist.!!

 

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The Pope is handing out miracles to kids in Mackemland.
Billy walks on to the stage and asks him, "Can you help me with my hearing"?
The Pope says, "Yes" and puts his hands on Billy's ears and prays, he
removes his hands and says, "How is your hearing now Billy"?
Billy says, " I don't know, it is not till next Wednesday"!