One liners, back woods sayings, funny retorts useful in every day speaking

[jrwwwww]

He has been around since Moby Dick was a Minnow.



I am hoping to learn some more of these. I use this stuff in my daily conversation. I can make a snide remark about something to tell it like it is, yet be happy because I am making fun of it.

Happy is a Blessing!

 

[jrwwwww]

Kind of like analyzing the dissection of a frog. There is no good way do so, and the frog still dies.

 

[jrwwwww]

Two wrongs don’t make a right. But two Wrights make an airplane.

 

[jrwwwww]

I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing.

 

[jrwwwww]

It is hard to kiss the lips that chew your ass all day long.

Said this of my xwife

 

[jrwwwww]

Meandering To A Different Drummer

 

[jrwwwww]

"No. I'm not tired ... I'm just laying here pretending to be road kill!"

 

[jrwwwww]

This going to cause more confusion than a mouse at a Tupperware party.

 

[jrwwwww]

The last time I saw him he was walking down lover's lane holding his own hand.

 

[jrwwwww]

That’s harder than slamming a revolving door.

 

[jrwwwww]

Two things in life are certain, death and taxes. But death does not get worse every year.

 

[jrwwwww]

I am happier than a pink unicorn on a carousel.

 

[jrwwwww]

When I was young I told my Grandma that when I grow up I wanted to play trombone. She told me I couldn’t do both.

 

[Bamber]

My favourite insult: he/she is only one word away from being an idiot savant.

 

[jrwwwww]

What came first, the chicken or the egg. The Rooster!

Next time in a meeting when someone asked that, just say Rooster and see who laughs.

 

[jrwwwww]

Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance

 

[jrwwwww]

That's like trying to nail jello to a tree

 

[jrwwwww]

Changed directions more than a burp in a wind tunnel.

 

[jrwwwww]

She has spent a lot of time at the Waffle house trying to make a decision.

 

[jrwwwww]

Moving slower then a herd of turtles running over a vat of peanut butter.