One liners, back woods sayings, funny retorts useful in every day speaking

[jrwwwww]

I am so happy; the presidents in my pocket have been smiling.

 

[jrwwwww]

Cutting down a tree may leave you stumped.

 

[jrwwwww]

You're never too old to learn something stupid.

 

[jrwwwww]

When you look at bacon and eggs you understand that the chicken was involved in the eggs, but the pig was committed.

 

[jrwwwww]

One should remove the "m" from zoom meetings as they feel more like a zoo meeting.

 

[jrwwwww]

Absurd obnoxious behavior while maybe not the best solution, it is the most effective solution to many perceived problems.

 

[jrwwwww]

I am happier than a pink unicorn on a carousel.

 

[jrwwwww]

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.

 

[jrwwwww]

Needs his sleeves lengthened by a couple of feet so they can be tied in the back.

 

[jrwwwww]

Wasn't abused as a child, but should have been.

 

[jrwwwww]

Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday

 

[jrwwwww]

Dogs are afraid to go to space because of the vacuum.

 

[jrwwwww]

You can't polish a turd, but you can roll it in glitter

 

[jrwwwww]

Do you think the guy that invented the vibrator heard voices that said, “If you build it, they will come”