I was walking home the other night and decided to take a short cut through the cemetery. Three girls approached me and explained that they were afraid to walk past the cemetery at night, so I agreed to let them walk with me. I told them "I understand, I always got freaked out, too, when I was alive." I never saw anyone run that fast before.
A woman decided to host a dinner party for around sixteen friends. She wanted to serve steaks smothered in mushrooms, but didn't want to go into town to buy them. Her husband said "Why don't you just pick some of those mushrooms that grow behind the barn?" She said are they safe to eat? He said "I don't know, but you could try them out on the dog first." So she went out and picked some, cooked them up in some bacon grease and gave them to the dog. The dog gobbled them up with no problem, so she went back out and picked a bunch more. That evening she served them to her guests. About halfway through the meal, the housekeeper ran in with tears in her eyes and said "Oh dear, poor Spot is dead!" The lady cried out "Call a doctor right away!" The doctor came and pumped everybody's stomachs. Just as he was finishing up with the last guest, the housekeeper came back in and said "And the truck that hit poor little Spot didn't even stop!"