Sick Jokes
- Thread starter Vinnie
- Start date
A woman brings eight-year-old Johnny home and tells his mother that he was caught playing doctors and nurses with Mary, her eight-year-old daughter.
Johnny's mother says, "Let's not be too harsh on them.... they are bound to be curious about sex at that age."
"Curious about sex?" replies Mary's mother. "He's taken her fucking appendix out!"
Johnny's mother says, "Let's not be too harsh on them.... they are bound to be curious about sex at that age."
"Curious about sex?" replies Mary's mother. "He's taken her fucking appendix out!"
Is the new Batman movie cursed? Consider the evidence:
1. Heath Ledger died from an overdose earlier this year.
2. Christian Bale was arrested a few weeks ago.
3. Morgan Freeman was in a serious car crash on Sunday.
4. I'm planning to kidnap Maggie Gyllenhaal next weekend and keep her in my cellar as a sex slave for the rest of her natural life.
Spooky, eh?
1. Heath Ledger died from an overdose earlier this year.
2. Christian Bale was arrested a few weeks ago.
3. Morgan Freeman was in a serious car crash on Sunday.
4. I'm planning to kidnap Maggie Gyllenhaal next weekend and keep her in my cellar as a sex slave for the rest of her natural life.
Spooky, eh?
squirt
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roflmfao ... :crazy:[/COLOR][/B]
I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long.
How do you titillate an ocelot?
Oscillate its tit a lot.
You probably know this already, but TV X are running an alternative "Sex Olympics."
Apparently the British team came first in the breast stroke, which was disappointing.
How do you titillate an ocelot?
Oscillate its tit a lot.
You probably know this already, but TV X are running an alternative "Sex Olympics."
Apparently the British team came first in the breast stroke, which was disappointing.
I was checking into a hotel the other week. At the counter, a guy in front of me said curtly to the receptionist, "I hope the porn channel is disabled."
Unbelievable what some people are into.
My wife came home from work crying yesterday and asked me to console her.
So I hit her over the head with my Xbox.
I went for a job interview as a blacksmith yesterday. He said, "Have you ever shoed a horse?"
I said, "No, but I've told a donkey to fuck off."
I parked in a disabled space today and a traffic warden shouted, "Oi, what's your disability?"
I said, "Tourettes! Now fuck off you cunt!"
I was at a cash machine when an old lady walked up and asked me to help her check her balance.
So I pushed her over.
A married man was having an affair with his secretary.
One day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house, where they made passionate love all afternoon. Exhausted from the wild sex, they fell asleep, awakening around 8pm. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Mystified, she nonetheless complied. He slipped into his shoes and drove home.
"Where have you been?" demanded his wife when he entered the house.
"Darling, I can't lie to you. I've been having an affair with my secretary and we've been having sex all afternoon. I fell asleep and didn't wake up until eight o'clock."
The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, "You lying bastard! You've been playing golf!"
Unbelievable what some people are into.
My wife came home from work crying yesterday and asked me to console her.
So I hit her over the head with my Xbox.
I went for a job interview as a blacksmith yesterday. He said, "Have you ever shoed a horse?"
I said, "No, but I've told a donkey to fuck off."
I parked in a disabled space today and a traffic warden shouted, "Oi, what's your disability?"
I said, "Tourettes! Now fuck off you cunt!"
I was at a cash machine when an old lady walked up and asked me to help her check her balance.
So I pushed her over.
A married man was having an affair with his secretary.
One day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house, where they made passionate love all afternoon. Exhausted from the wild sex, they fell asleep, awakening around 8pm. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Mystified, she nonetheless complied. He slipped into his shoes and drove home.
"Where have you been?" demanded his wife when he entered the house.
"Darling, I can't lie to you. I've been having an affair with my secretary and we've been having sex all afternoon. I fell asleep and didn't wake up until eight o'clock."
The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, "You lying bastard! You've been playing golf!"