Sick Jokes

brilor

Jokeroo Legend
Joined
Mar 26, 2004
Messages
207,580
:like2:

In the U.K., a very pretty young speech therapist
was getting nowhere with her
“Stammerers Action Group”.

She had tried every technique in the book
without the slightest success. No-one was improving.

Finally, thoroughly exasperated, she said
"If any of you can tell me, without stuttering,
the name of the town where you were born
I will have wild and passionate sex with
you until your muscles ache and your eyes water.
So, who wants to go first?"

The Englishman piped up.
"B-b-b-b-b-b-b-irmingham."

"That's no use, Trevor," said the speech therapist. "Who's next?"
The Scotsman raised his hand and blurted out
"P-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-aisley".

“That's no better.
There'll be no sex for you, I'm afraid, Hamish.”

“How about you, Paddy?”
The Irishman took a deep breath and eventually blurted out
" London ."

“Brilliant, Paddy!” said the speech therapist and immediately set about living up to her promise.
After 15 minutes of exceptionally steamy sex, the couple paused for breath and Paddy said
"-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-erry".








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konifur

Jokeroo Enthusiast
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53,804
What’s the best way to look like a retard?


Try running in flip-flops.
 

brilor

Jokeroo Legend
Joined
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Messages
207,580
What’s the best way to look like a retard?

Act like a Mackem!
 

squirt

Administrator
Joined
May 5, 2004
Messages
818,590
[QUOTE="konifur, post: 5061052]What’s the best way to look like a retard?


Try running in flip-flops.[/QUOTE]

that's a good way to break your hip too, just ask Laila lol :lookaroun
 

brilor

Jokeroo Legend
Joined
Mar 26, 2004
Messages
207,580
[QUOTE="konifur, post: 5061266]You win Bri, i can`t think of any more retard jokes.[/QUOTE]


:like:
 

konifur

Jokeroo Enthusiast
Joined
Jan 25, 2009
Messages
53,804
Went to the restuarant and asked the waiter if there was any Specials on.
He said "Yes,He's in the kitchen licking. the dishes clean".
 

brilor

Jokeroo Legend
Joined
Mar 26, 2004
Messages
207,580
:like2:


I was in the bar when I started chatting to a midget.
"You seem like a nice and trustworthy person, fancy coming back to mine?" I asked.
"Looking for a good time, are you?" she said, smiling.
"No," I replied. "I've lost my keys and you're the only person that can fit through my cat flap."
 

brilor

Jokeroo Legend
Joined
Mar 26, 2004
Messages
207,580
I was driving through Wales with a friend of mine who is dyslexic.
He was studying the road signs when all of a sudden he shouted,
"Fuck me, I'm cured."
 

konifur

Jokeroo Enthusiast
Joined
Jan 25, 2009
Messages
53,804
"I saw some impressive strokes today" I said to my mate.
"Been watching the swimming?" he asked.
"No, I work at a nursing home."
 

brilor

Jokeroo Legend
Joined
Mar 26, 2004
Messages
207,580
I said to the doctor, "I'm worried as whenever I go to visit my mother she gets my name wrong."
He looked up at me sympathetically and asked, "Is it Alzheimer's?"
I looked back at him in disgust and replied, "No, It's Simon."
 
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