Sick Jokes

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Poor families burying relatives in their back garden because they cannot afford a funeral, MP claims.
That's what I told the jury ten years ago after my wife committed suicide by stabbing herself in the back seven times.

 

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that's thinking on your toes lol

 

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I would like to respectfully ask that people do not make Vern troyer jokes please. Be-littling him is just wrong

 

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Dear William & Kate,

Congrats on the birth of your latest boy.
I have a cot for sale if you need one.

Verne Troyers MUM

 

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Why do bald men have holes in their pockets?

So they can run their fingers through their hair.

 

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I don't get it, but I love kids ... other people's kids lol

 

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I don't get it, but I love kids ... other people's kids lol View attachment 15929

The McCanns kid went missing and Jimmy Savile was a kiddyfiddler.

 

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"What was that you put on my sandwiches today?". I asked the wife when i got home from work.
"Crab paste" she said.
"Where did you get that from?". I asked
"The Pharmacy ". She replied

 

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Lorraine Kelly interviews Yorkshire Ripper:
Ooooh Peter it's lovely to meet you. How many whores did you kill again? Well to be fair they were asking for it and you did say God told you to do it so that's alright by me. You drove one of those big lorries didn't you? Always amazes me the way you guys reverse them into those loading bays. How was Broadmoor? I tell ye I'd love the chance to put my feet up in there for a wee while myself. Are you and Sonia still in touch? Bless her it must have been tough on her. Were you never tempted to batter her to death with your hammer? Go on...whats yer favourite colour? lovely to meet you Peter and best wishes. What a lovely man.

 

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What’s the best part of anal sex with a shemale?
Reaching around and pretending it went all the way through.

 

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There hasn't been that many black faces at Windsor Castle since the fire.

 

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*Sung to the Frank Sinatra - Love and Marriage song *

Love and marriage
Love and marriage
Is that Camilla
Pulling the Royal carriage
This I tell you brother
Grandma killed our Mother.

 

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