Enjoying his first night in Rome, a young American was drinking a cappuccino at a sidewalk café when a pretty girl sat down beside him. "Hello," he said. "Do you understand English?" "Only a little," she answered. "How much?" he asked. "Fifty dollars," she replied.
In the next few years, the BAFTA awards are planning to only acknowledge TV shows that meet diversity quotas in race, sexuality, gender and disability. In other news, my drama about a crippled Paki transsexual lesbian who solves crimes with the help of a gang of Chinky vegan amputees has just been given the green light.