To Offend Everyone

eclipse_storm

Member
Joined
Oct 2, 2003
Messages
1,360
SOMETHING TO OFFEND DAMN NEAR EVERYBODY

1. What's the Cuban national anthem?
"Row, Row, Row Your Boat"

2. Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar.

3. Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
They named him "Sum Ting Wong.

4. What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment.

5. What does it mean when the flag at the Pos t Office is flying at half-mast?
They're hiring.

6. Why aren't there any Puerto Ricans on Star Trek?
Because they're not going to work in the future either.

7. What do you call an Arkansas farmer with a sheep under each arm?
A pimp.

8. Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.

9. What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage, along with a recipe.

10. How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!

11. What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit..."

12. Why is there no Disneyland in China?
No one's tall enough to go on the good rides!

13. And my, my, how time have changed:
Years ago when 100 white men chased 1 black man, we called it the Klu Klux Klan. Today they call it the Olympics.
 

pebles12002

Junior Member
Joined
Nov 29, 2003
Messages
283
that was a good laugh and no im not at all offended sorry to disapoint i thought thay were funny
 

essex boy

Super Moderator
Joined
Nov 7, 2003
Messages
46,436
I'm offended Eclipse,ya gone and forgotten the English,and I've been so mean to ya too lol
 

dragonlady286

Senior Member
Joined
Jan 9, 2004
Messages
7,215
Offended? 'Fraid I was too busy lmao. :tounge: However, I will be using some of them to see how many of my southern friends I can offend, lol. Great post, eclipse. :bigsmile:
 

lovely_angel

Member
Joined
Oct 2, 2003
Messages
1,582
Well I am from the south and I am not a offended at all. Here is my favorite recipe for all to enjoy. yummy.



Possum Stew

[size=-1]One possum, skinned, pieced
Couple of onions, potatos, other veggies yer
choice ..chop or slice em ....however
1 can of mushroom soup
2 cans of beef gravy
1 can of water
Tbsp each of pepper, garlic salt

Boil the possum meat in a large pot of water
with a half cup of salt for about half a day.
Pour the water out and add all the stuff to it.
Bring to a boil, then simmer covered 4 to 8 hrs.

Serves 8 (or 1 for a week).
Gravy is good sopped up with week-old bread.
You can eat other stuff with it too.
Drink beer
(TIP: 3 day old roadkill is more tender and
easier to skin)
[/size]
 

Robv1

Member
Joined
Oct 31, 2003
Messages
1,003
i'd like number 8 to be true for me i wouldn't miss a Tuesday or Thursday ever.
 

sadlydarkmemory

Junior Member
Joined
Jan 19, 2004
Messages
14
LMAO lovely, sadly i ahve seen people where i grew up at stop and pick up roadkill, and yes sadly eat it too...horrible memories having to use a shovel, to scrape a rabbit up and also skin it, and fry it good just like southerstyle, fried chicken, LOL
 

sewnutzcl1

Senior Member
Joined
Oct 7, 2003
Messages
14,462
I liked it, and I'm not offended either, but of course I'm not easy to offend! :hehe: :hehe: :music:
 

lovely_angel

Member
Joined
Oct 2, 2003
Messages
1,582
sadlydarkmemory said:
LMAO lovely, sadly i ahve seen people where i grew up at stop and pick up roadkill, and yes sadly eat it too...horrible memories having to use a shovel, to scrape a rabbit up and also skin it, and fry it good just like southerstyle, fried chicken, LOL
Even tho I do live in the south I have never seen or heard of anyone I know doing that. I sure wouldn't do it or eat it.:) I have ate a rabbit before tho but it was not road kill.
 

London

Junior Member
Joined
Dec 1, 2003
Messages
15
You are a readneck if you leave your gum on the bed post over night to see if it loses flavor!:lookaroun :hehe:
 

sistakat

Senior Member
Joined
Nov 14, 2003
Messages
5,897
3. Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
They named him "Sum Ting Wong (LMAO)

8. Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it. (OMG LMAO)

9. What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage, along with a recipe. (lol thats wrong lol)

10. How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*! (soo soo tru!!)

11. What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit..." (haha)

ROTFLMAO.....great post eclipse
 

sadlydarkmemory

Junior Member
Joined
Jan 19, 2004
Messages
14
lovely_angel said:
Even tho I do live in the south I have never seen or heard of anyone I know doing that. I sure wouldn't do it or eat it.:) I have ate a rabbit before tho but it was not road kill.
very well heard of in WVA, not saying i am from WVA, but lived close enough to it, and was the rabbit enjoyable???
 
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